I’m CEO of a dating app – six things I'd never say or do on a first date & NEVER start a conversation with 'hey' | The Sun

FROM bad personal hygiene to arrogance or rude behaviour, we've all heard our fair share of horror stories when it comes to first dates.

But imagine truly believing the date went well, only to learn there's no second date on the cards.

Well, according to relationship expert Tina Wilson, who is the CEO & Founder of dating app Wingman, there are six first date faux pas that will leave you never landing a second date.

So, are you guilty of any?

Speaking exclusively to Fabulous, Tina has revealed the top six things you should never say or do on a first date – and what you should do instead to boost your chances of a second.

1. Don’t start off by saying “hey” as it will leave your date cold

Firstly, Tina warns never to start a conversation on a first date with the word “Hey”.


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"This is dubbed ‘the hey-ter’ and our Wingman statistics show online daters tend to be put off with someone who tries to start a conversation with this simple but over used word," the relationship guru explains.

"Most daters know if someone starts a conversation with 'Hey', they are likely to disappear because it is simply too vague and easy to use."

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She goes on to brand it a "lazy approach" and notes that using 'Hey' as an opener signals that you don’t make the best impression and will leave the other person wondering if they're even that interested.  

"Also, where is the witty humour?" Tina asks. "The art of conversation is dead as soon as you begin with a 'Hey' or even a 'Hi.' Do better than 'Hey' and avoid it at all costs."

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Instead do this:

Tina explains how humour is always a great way to make others feel relaxed around you and want to get to know more.

"Ask them a question to entice a response and get the conversation flowing on your first date," she suggests.

2. Don’t talk about yourself endlessly

As a rule, it's OK to talk on a basic level about yourself, Tina says.

However, she warns that whatever you do, refrain from delving into things too much as you will look self-obsessed or reveal too much too soon. 

"When we are nervous it can be easy to chatter away and go off-piste," she explains. "But a first date is never a place to reveal all your secrets or talk about your past dating history.

You will never land a second date if you don’t control yourself in this manner."

She adds: "You want to give enough insight to see if you both have anything in common without ruining your chances by the conversation being too one-sided."

The art of conversation is dead as soon as you begin with a 'Hey' or even a 'Hi'

Instead do this:

Tina advises asking questions to let them lead the conversation in the direction they feel comfortable.

"This is a much more subtle approach that builds their trust," she notes.

However, she warns not to go in heavy with boring questions which make it seem like a job interview and not a first date. 

"Also, remember not to be an open book and do leave some things to mystery to keep them hooked," she points out.

3. Don’t use your phone

The relationship guru explains that most people will find it "rude and disrespectful" if you constantly look at your phone on a date.

"Particularly on first date there should be no distractions," says Tina. "On a first date you need to be engaged and focused so really think about whether it is essential to put your phone on the table.

"Do you have somewhere better to be?"

Instead do this:

Tina explains that it's OK to use your phone for the right reasons, for example, if you're showing your date something or researching something on the phone together.

However, she says that if used in the wrong way, it'll totally give the wrong impression.  

"If you need to use your phone, politely tell your date that you need to check a message or reply back to someone quickly to avoid coming across as rude and uninterested," she advises.

"If you need to be on your phone constantly, do you really have time for dating?"

4. Don’t talk about Sex

Tina comments: "Unless you're planning on having sex on the first date (where you should then talk about your sexual history), you should never start or finish with anything sexual, such as, 'I will go to bed thinking of you tonight!'"

She warns that it's "far too forward" and "too creepy" – adding that even if it’s true keep it to yourself until you've been on a few dates and know if the chemistry is there. 

"It is best to leave some things to the imagination on the first date and save it for a future opportunity," she says.

If you need to use your phone, politely tell your date that you need to check a message or reply back to someone quickly, to avoid coming across as rude and uninterested

Instead do this:

The relationship expert suggests showing interest but not coming on too strong initially as it's this that can be majorly off-putting.

"In the beginning you should be enjoying chatting and seeing how compatible you are," she says.

"Use flattery to help progress your conversation and show them you are interested, but don’t go over the top by constantly showering them with compliments, especially using cliché one liners or sayings – you will appear unauthentic and just creepy."

5. Don’t mention marriage or kids

The love guru advises against deep topics such as discussing wanting to have kids or get married on your first date with someone.

"It's not the right time to bring that up on a first date and you''ll scare them off," she says. "You're just getting to know each other and if you are the right fit there will be plenty of opportunity to talk about marriage and kids in the future.

"It could come across as unauthentic to talk about this too soon and it will highly likely make your date feel uncomfortable."

Instead do this: 

Tina advises subtly dropping signs without saying anything.

"You could comment on people around you or briefly mention your family in some capacity to show your date you are family orientated," she explains.

"If you do have children already you may feel it’s necessary to share this as it will be a priority in your life and you need to make that clear, then that is totally understandable."

6. Don’t treat your date like an interview 

Tina points out that another mistake she often sees people making is firing questions at someone they've just met about their career plans and being too ‘nosey’.  

"If you get on and enjoy spending time with this person there will be many more opportunities to discuss things in depth later down the dating line," she says.

Instead do this: 

The relationship expert notes: "You should be interested and engaged in the person you are on a date with but don’t go too far.

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"Let the person you’re with talk about themselves then offer similarities or talk about more light-hearted subjects such as what box set are you obsessing over at the moment!"

She concludes: "Let’s face it a shared interest in a gripping TV show can give us hours of conversation and enjoyment."

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