My future mother-in-law ruined my engagement and I have to make a new plan – but that’s not my biggest problem

PICKING out the perfect ring and setting up your partner’s dream engagement can be stressful – and one man’s experience has certainly been thanks to his future mother-in-law.

In an anonymous post to Reddit, he claimed his mother-in-law told her daughter his plans to propose, so now he needs to come up with a new strategy and wants to exclude the mother.


“I bought the ring and basically took it on a tour to show all of her friends and get their approval and all of my friends to do the same,” the man recalled.  

He said he was ecstatic to propose to his girlfriend of five years and even asked both of her parents for their blessing.

“She has always wanted her immediate family and friends there when she got engaged and I love the idea,” the poster wrote.

“So … I have been getting her used to having those people around so that when I finally pop the question she wouldn’t be suspicious.”

Unfortunately, the surprise was ruined when his girlfriend’s mother decided to tell her all about how he planned to get down on one knee on Thanksgiving. 

“That was my original plan but it got ruined so now Thanksgiving comes and goes and nothing happens,” the man explained. 

The girlfriend became super upset because she was let down when Thanksgiving passed and she had no ring on her left ring finger – but that isn’t the worst part. 

“I then call her mom and tell her mom that she will no longer be notified when I propose because she clearly cannot keep one secret and ruined it,” the boyfriend noted. 

“The mom said I was selfish to keep her away from the party and that I had better think twice before doing that.” 

The mother followed through on her warning and told her daughter a fabricated story about what really happened with the engagement, which made the girlfriend even angrier.

While the dumfounded poster believes his future mother-in-law is completely in the wrong, he admitted he feels guilty about not including her in his plans going forward.

However, other Reddit users let him know he has nothing to feel guilty about.

“Your mother-in-law did something that was extremely disrespectful to yourself AND your future wife; she selfishly stole what was meant to be a beautiful moment between you two and in doing so ruined everyone’s efforts,” one person wrote. 

Instead of completely excluding her, though, the commenter suggested simpy not telling her when the proposal will happen so she can be surprised along with her daughter in the moment. 

“She's a full-grown adult. 

“She should be able to keep a secret, and she needs to understand that her actions have consequences,” a second person argued. 

“You have no obligation to include her in this.”

However, a few readers blamed the man for telling too many people before the proposal.

“First thing you need to learn is you cannot tell a whole bunch of people a secret,” one user noted.

Several others warned the poster that excluding the girlfriend’s mom from the special moment will hurt her feelings, but in an update to his post, he noted that he told his girlfriend everything that happened, and the girlfriend now doesn’t want her mother there at all. 

This unsurprisingly set off new alarms, as the mother-in-law argued she “has a right” to spoil the proposal and has now accused her daughter of being “brainwashed.”

Hopefully, the mother can let her anger go so she doesn’t show up to the wedding in a bridal gown out of spite like another mother-in-law previously did. 

Only time will tell. 


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