Bridget Everett knows the best places to get drunk on the cheap

Bridget Everett likes to say that she’s from Manhattan — Manhattan, Kan., that is, or what she calls “the Little Apple” in her cabaret show, “Bridget Everett & The Tender Moments,” through July 17 at Joe’s Pub. You can also catch her on the podcast “3 Girls, 1 Keith,” with Amy Schumer, her BFF and fellow Upper West Sider. “I only go places where I’m a regular,” Everett says. “I would not go to Brooklyn on the weekend unless I was getting paid five figures.” The singer, 47, shares her apartment with her “No. 1 priority” — her Pomeranian, Poppy — and tells The Post where they hang out on the weekend.

We like to get Poppy a wash and fluff at Bark Avenue Grooming. They treat Poppy like a princess, and she comes out smelling like oatmeal and bubbles. After we get her buffed out, I go out to Riverside Park to get in my steps and some vitamin D. [Poppy] has some anxiety, so we look at the dog park, she says, “No, thank you” and we keep going.

If I’m treating myself, I’ll stop at Lenny’s, currently re-branded as Lenwich, and get an iced hazelnut coffee — no milk, no sugar. We’ll probably stop at Basics [Plus] Hardware to get our toilet paper and seltzer gas tanks.

I just started going to a trainer at New York Sports Club. His name is Kirk. I’ve been seeing him for years when I would go there every six months, sort of look at the machines and walk back out. He’s changing my game. [Now] I go to the gym five or six times a week and I’m loving it. It hurts real bad, and I haven’t thrown up yet, but I know it’s coming.

Crave Fishbar has my favorite early bird special. I get dollar oysters and a little margarita, sit at my corner table, put on my earbuds and play Words with Friends while I get my buzz on. I’ve also been a longtime fan of the sangria at Fred’s [at Amsterdam and 83rd]. They have a good margarita, too, for happy hour, and a chicken quesadilla. There’s something about getting drunk for a value that feels real good. As for wine, I go to Mitchell’s on 86th and Amsterdam. I’ve been going there since I had to roll my quarters to get my Chardonnay. Now, I can just say “Put it on the card on file.”

At some point, I’ll go to Juice Generation and load up on ginger shots. When I make my nightcap at the end of the night, I pour a little Tito’s on ice and pour one of the ginger shots in there so I’m keeping it healthy.

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