How do I tell my wife of 18 years that I'm gay? | The Sun

DEAR DEIDRE: MY wife has no idea I’m gay and have been texting another guy.

I’ve never had a gay experience, but I’ve always suspected I like men more than women.

I’m 42 and have been married to my wife, 41, for 18 years. We have two teenage children.

I grew up in a Christian family, raised to believe being gay was sinful.

So I married young, hoping I’d be able to suppress my desires.

It worked, until two years ago, when I started chatting to guys on a gay website. There’s one who I’ve messaged regularly.


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We swap pictures and have talked of meeting. I think I’m in love. I don’t want to hurt my wife but I can’t help how I feel.

What should I do?

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DEIDRE SAYS: It’s very sad that your upbringing made you feel you couldn’t express your sexuality.

But if you meet this guy, you’ll be cheating. Your wife may already suspect you’re gay.

You owe it to her to be honest, decide together on the future of your marriage.

Contact Switchboard LGBT + Helpline (, 0300 330 0630) for confidential support.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to [email protected]

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

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