I am a man with no libido – how can I satisfy my partner in bed?

DEAR DEIDRE: MY lady is beautiful and has a big heart but I can’t satisfy her in bed. 

I want to give her everything she deserves.


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I am a man of 43 with no libido at all. All my urges have gone. She is 39.

My testosterone levels have been tested and are fine, so it’s a mental issue. Trouble is I cannot figure out what it is.

My ex-wife was the sexual driving force in our marriage. Threesomes were her thing and she cheated on me too.

I am so in love and know my new partner feels the same but I’m scared I’m going to lose her.

DEIDRE SAYS: Keep on telling her you love her. You can satisfy her with­out needing an erection or feeling desire, though taking the pressure off might help you tune in to feeling arousal.

I reckon your ex-wife’s demands and cheating dented your sexual confidence. Talk it over with a sexual and relationship therapist.

See cosrt.org.uk and my e-leaflet Reviving A Man’s Sex Drive.

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