My daughter lost custody of her kids but I'm too late to apply for adoption
DEAR DEIDRE: MY daughter has lost custody of her children. Her eldest is going to live with her in-laws and her youngest has been put up for adoption.
I’m devastated. Social services told me I was too late to apply for adoption when I contacted them.
My grandson is three and has been with his adoptive parents since the autumn. I’m 55. I would’ve loved to adopt him and am heartbroken.
I am estranged from my daughter, although I’ve loved and protected her after her dad was sent to prison for domestic violence towards us both.
My daughter denies he did anything, but he’s always bought her silence.
I’ve been told I’m allowed to write to my grandson. I want to but what if I say the wrong thing?
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DEIDRE SAYS: Your grandson has suffered a lot of distress and disruption. He is now with parents carefully chosen for him.
In your letters, be yourself and keep it conversational. As he grows up, it will matter so much to him to know he has a loving grandma.
Your daughter is very unhappy and suffering from low self-esteem. Her anger almost certainly stems from her father’s abuse.
Try to persuade her to get help. My support pack Abused As A Child? explains where to find support.
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