My daughter thinks it's too soon after her dad's death for me to move on
DEAR DEIDRE: MY daughter doesn’t want me to find a new boyfriend and scares away anyone who’s interested in me.
She’s still grieving for her dad and says it’s too soon for me, and it’s inappropriate.
But I’m so lonely – I just want a companion. I’m 60 and my husband died suddenly, aged 62, six months ago.
Our daughter, 30, was a real daddy’s girl and took it very hard.
I loved my husband very much, but I’ve never been good on my own. The thought of another 20 years of loneliness makes me want to give up on life.
A neighbour – a widower – has been supportive and he made it clear he’s interested in me. When I told my daughter she said we were disgusting, and she told him to leave me alone.
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I was embarrassed and humiliated.
What can I do to feel better?
DEIDRE SAYS: It’s not wrong to want companionship.
Your daughter is acting like this because she is worried about you and feels you are vulnerable.
She doesn’t want anyone to take advantage of her mum. She’s probably also worried that you’ll forget her dad, who for her can never be replaced.
Reassure her that you will always love him but aren’t coping well alone. Maybe she could spend more time with you.
Part of the reason you feel lonely is that you are still grieving. My support pack about bereavement explains more and will help you to find support.
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