My girlfriend has stopped me from seeing my kids because of my mother-in-law – The Sun | The Sun

DEAR DEIDRE: MY girlfriend does whatever her mother says, and now she has stopped me from seeing my kids.

I’m 37 and she is 35. We’ve been together for six years, but we’ve never lived together. 

We have  a girl and a boy, aged five and two, and I’m  desperate to spend time with them.

My girlfriend has always refused to leave her mum, who lives alone. They are incredibly close.

But since we had the kids, her mum has become more and more controlling of our relationship.

We never spend any time together without her mother being there.

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We haven’t officially split, but we no longer have a real relationship.

I’m not allowed to make any decisions about our kids’ lives, even though I support them financially.

I have no say in disciplining them, or in what they eat, wear or do, and can only come to visit them at weekends. 

They’re never allowed to come to my place. In fact, my girlfriend’s mother is more like my children’s second parent than I am. 

Now, I’ve been banned from seeing the children at all. The reason? Because I dared to say I wanted to take them to visit my parents for the weekend.

That was a month ago. I haven’t seen my kids since. Can they do this? I can’t afford a lawyer.



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DEIDRE SAYS: Your girlfriend has slowly but surely shut you out of your children’s lives, seemingly under the influence of her mother. 

Before you think about getting lawyers involved – and you can get free legal help from – appeal to her sense of fairness and explain how bad this is for the kids.

You have a right to see them and they need their dad involved in their lives.  My support pack, Standing Up For Yourself, should help you to do this.

For more specialist advice, contact Families Need Fathers (, 0300 0300 363).

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