My girlfriend sends nudes to blokes online during her booze and cocaine binges
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I wish my girlfriend would stop drinking.
Most of the time she’s a lovely person, but give her a bottle and she turns into a monster.
I’m sick of her crazy behaviour and verbal abuse. Fridays are now a no-go zone at her place.
After a couple of wines with colleagues, she staggers home and hits the spirits. The first three (neat) doubles hardly touch the sides as she kicks back.
She cranks up the music and FaceTimes her mates. Then at midnight, she starts on the cocaine. She sings, she screams and posts all sorts of stupid stuff on social media. I leave.
From then on, I’m aware that she indulges in online sex with strangers and pings over explicit images of herself.
She doesn’t sleep – she simply carries on drinking and carousing into the next day. Saturdays are lost in a haze of more self-indulgent stupidity.
It’s a sad, solitary life. If anything, Sundays are even worse because the paranoia and guilt she experiences are crippling.
As she gradually sobers up the dehydration and the blues kick in and she cries and hides under the duvet full of self-loathing.
I’m told that she hates me and I’m single-handledly responsible for ruining her life. I try and feed her and make her feel better, but get no thanks for my efforts.
By Monday she’s as fresh as a spring lamb again. She trots off to work and is fine, not drinking a drop until Friday night comes back round again.
She expects me to forgive her worst excesses, but why should I when she hurts and insults me?
JANE SAYS: Excessive alcohol is bad enough, but throwing cocaine into the mix is sheer poison.
There’s nothing cool about drinking to excess, taking drugs and abusing any poor individual who happens to be in the vicinity.
Your girlfriend may believe she deserves her Friday night “treat” after a hard week at work, but she’s destroying herself and your relationship.
She can’t simply brush off the excesses of the weekend while you’re still reeling. She must hear you’re worried, plus fed up with being insulted and taken for granted.
She has a problem. She may not like to hear the truth, but staying up all weekend isn’t good, having online sex with strangers isn’t right and making your life miserable isn’t acceptable.
It’s vital she understands that you won’t take any more.
Insist she gets professional help before she causes herself irreparable damage.
First, she should speak to her GP. A qualified individual needs to discover why she self-destructs and what can be done to help turn her life around. Read up on addiction at nhs.uk.
If she’s not prepared to take responsibility for her actions, you can’t continue to support her because you must protect yourself.
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