20 Sexts To Send Someone You Live With To Spice Things Up

Let’s get takeout, so there’s more time to make out.

Although your sex life may be at steamy as ever, "U up?" hits different when you and your boo share a bed that you picked out together at Ikea. If you’re looking to spice up your inbox and your sex life, consider these sexts for long-term couples a blueprint for some titillating texting. When you and your partner live together, you may start to text more about paying the electric bill or buying the right toilet paper than your kinky fantasies or upcoming date night. And after months of quarantine, with no bars or parties insight, you and your boo may have fallen into a type of sexual routine.

Trina Leckie, relationship coach and host of Breakup BOOST podcast, emphasizes the importance of also keeping the sexy stuff alive. "That spark and closeness remind you why you are together and helps you get through problematic times," Leckie tells Bustle. "If you don’t keep this alive, you may begin to feel more like friends or roommates."

Leckie adds that physical intimacy strengthens your emotional connection, builds trust, and relieves stress. For all those reasons (and you know, because sex is fun), here are 20 sexts to send your longtime boo to turn them on for a long time.

The daily stresses of everyday life can sneak their way into the bedroom. If your partner has a hard week at work or has been overwhelmed with family stuff, let them know that you’ve got their back. Establishing that the chores are done and running smoothly allows your partner to relax and feel totally present and sexy.

Role-playing with a long-term partner can be a great way to tap into different fantasies. Perhaps you take turns trying out dominant and submissive roles. Maybe you pretend to be strangers meeting for the first time. Sexting can be a great way to start role-playing because you’re not looking at your partner. You can use texting to build up a fantasy and write an erotic story together.

Although scheduling sex may not sound super sexy, it’s a great way to keep intimacy a priority. Setting time aside to focus on pleasing and connecting means you and your boo can go at it for a while without worrying about checking your work email or meal prepping for the week. Additionally, suggesting a new time to have sex — like in the morning of the middle of the day — can be a spicy twist.

If your upcoming vacation plans are derailed, take a trip down memory lane. Describe the hottest vacation sex you’ve ever had with your partner, getting into detail about what made it so good.

After a few months of quarantine, maybe you and your boo have done it all over your apartment. However, if there’s something you’ve always wanted to try (or to try again), telling them in a text is a sexy way to spice things up. It’s easy to get into a sex rut when you’re always going at it in the same place, suggesting a new location to get freaky can be exciting.

Complimenting your partner’s taste or smell can be a super intimate way to express how into them you are. Rather than just calling them hot or talking about their rocking bod’, framing the conversation around your connection is sexy and romantic.

Consensual power play is a great way to spice up a long-term relationship. Sexting can be particularly useful for this because you get to clearly type out your demands and desires in a concise way without interruption.

Do you remember feeling nervous on your first date? Do you remember the first time they made you finish? Sexting can be a great way to tap back into the "honeymoon phase," or the early parts of your relationship when everything was still new.

Giving your boo some love is a great way to get them in the mood. Remind them why you love them and why you feel lucky to be with them. Establishing that level of trust and care can help you both feel desired. "Focus on what you have to be grateful for and express gratitude to your partner," Leckie says. "Make them feel appreciated for even the little things because those are often the big things."

In addition to asking your partner about trying new things between the sheets, ask your partner to recount their favorite sex memories with you. Discussing your favorite sex memories is the perfect mix of nostalgic and arousing, and a great reminder of how connected you and your boo are.

A little spontaneity goes a lot way. Ask your boo to stay in bed with you for the day and pretend the outside world doesn’t exist. "Have a specified amount of time where you put the phones away and turn the TV off," Leckie says. "When you have too many distractions, it takes away from the quality time that you can spend together."

With your phone as a buffer, texting can be a great way to directly communicate about things you’ve always wanted to try or fantasies you’ve been thinking about — even with a long-term partner. "Take that time to really communicate with each other and listen," Leckie says. "Genuinely care about how your partner is feeling and what they are saying."

Positive reinforcement is always hot. If you love it when your partner kisses your neck or spanks you a little, let them know. They may not even realize that something they do gets you off.

Expressing when you feel sexy and desired is a great way to communicate your needs and wants to your partner. Rather than just listening to what you like or want, share when you feel amazing.

Solo sex is still essential in a long-term relationship! Give yourself some loving, but let your partner know they were on your mind.

If you and your boo have never brought a toy into the bedroom, sexting about it can be a great way to dip your toe into the sex tech pool. Even if you’re sex toy pros, asking about new toys or texting about your favorites can be super sexy.

Watching porn with your partner can be a great way to talk about things you want to try and inspire some new moves or role-playing scenes. If there’s a clip or video you know you like, send it to them or watch it together.

After weeks of sweatpants and take out, getting all dressed up is a sexy way to reconnect with your partner and show each other that you both care about the relationship. "Put effort into getting ready," Leckie says. "You don’t need to leave your home to have a date — you just need to be creative."

Sometimes you don’t want to cook, your friends are annoying, and everything seems to be going wrong. While it’s easy to get swept up in pessimism, offering a solution to something (like getting takeout when you don’t want to cook) lets you and your partner just focus on each other. "Maintain a positive mindset," Leckie says. "Negativity and complaining will only wear away at both of you."

When you live with your partner, chances are, you probably know if they are awake. But hitting your boo with a classic booty call text is a super silly way to make light of your relationship and let your partner know that you’re feeling frisky and trying to get some action. You can be in a serious relationship without being serious all of the time.

Source:

Trina Leckie, relationship coach and host of ‘Breakup BOOST podcast’

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