ALEXANDRA SHULMAN: Labour's next leader could be decided by make-up

ALEXANDRA SHULMAN’S NOTEBOOK: Rebecca Long-Bailey is a whizz with red lipstick and Jess Phillips knows the value of a slick of scarlet…It’s not woke to say, but Labour’s next leader could be decided by their make-up

Last week I handed over my £25 and joined the Labour Party, becoming a registered supporter able to vote in the upcoming leadership election.

I’ve floated around between parties my whole life, and Labour being completely unelectable with Corbyn as leader made the handing over of that cash a no-brainer. 

I want to ensure there is a robust and credible party in opposition, able to hold Tory toes over the flames from time to time. So now it’s homework time, brushing up on the candidates in the lead-up to the vital vote.

Lisa Nandy – an intelligent, compassionate and articulate candidate I have a huge amount of time for – more often goes about her business bare-faced. She is pictured above giving a speech in London this week

I have to admit that part of the allure is driven by election-withdrawal symptoms since, like a horse racing addict, I miss my compulsive form-following of recent few months. 

With four of the five runners left being women, I have come to the conclusion that it could end up being the make-up wot won it. Before the Twitter mob reach for their pitchforks, let me explain…

As someone who wore little make-up until I became older – and who is an incompetent when it comes to the hairdryer – I recognise that these women may well feel similarly to how I sometimes have: that people could take me or leave me as I naturally was. 

I want to ensure there is a robust and credible party in opposition, able to hold Tory toes over the flames from time to time. So now it’s homework time, brushing up on the candidates in the lead-up to the vital vote. Jeremy Corbyn is pictured above with Rebecca Long-Bailey

That there were so many more important things in life than tweaking my looks to fulfil preconceptions. 

But I’ve learnt make-up is more complicated than that. Get it wrong and you end up looking more insubstantial and untrustworthy than if you’d left the concealer alone.

We live in a visually knee-jerk society, often reacting to what we see rather than waiting to hear what is said. 

Rebecca Long-Bailey is a whizz with the red lipstick and brow pencil. With four of the five runners left being women, I have come to the conclusion that it could end up being the make-up wot won it

It means that first impressions are vital. Front-runner Keir Starmer, like all men in the public eye, has the advantage of his appearance not being scrutinised in the same way as women. 

It’s not that people don’t notice his appearance, but men’s lank hair, pale lips and undefined eyes of a white rabbit don’t subliminally semaphore the same lack of authority. 

I know I’ve said this before but I firmly believe that one of Jo Swinson’s failures as Lib Dem leader was the way that she didn’t transition her style from fresh-faced head girl into international spokesman. 

Jess Phillips knows the value of a slick of scarlet. And Emily Thornberry is as close friends with the contouring brushes as the technician at the Clinique counter

Swinson was apparently determined not to take any advice in this department. 

Not from vanity but because she didn’t feel her political career as a woman should be subject to such trivial matters as a think-tank on whether cardigans or jackets would work best on the Andrew Neil Show and should she do more eyeliner.

It appears most of the Labour candidates have learnt that lesson. Rebecca Long-Bailey is a whizz with the red lipstick and brow pencil. 

Jess Phillips knows the value of a slick of scarlet. And Emily Thornberry is as close friends with the contouring brushes as the technician at the Clinique counter.

By contrast, Lisa Nandy – an intelligent, compassionate and articulate candidate I have a huge amount of time for – more often goes about her business bare-faced. 

But on the Andrew Neil Show last week, she had clearly been subject to the ministrations of the good folk in the BBC make-up room.

No doubt when she saw herself in the mirror she was horrified at how she looked with a daubing of blusher and a heavy application of mascara – when that happens to me I always feel like a cross between a drag queen and Gloria Swanson in her Sunset Boulevard exit.

But on screen she immediately graduated from an earnest hopeful who might make the grade one day, to a woman who both sounded and looked like a real player. And might make my £25 pay off.

Front-runner Keir Starmer, like all men in the public eye, has the advantage of his appearance not being scrutinised in the same way as women. He is pictured above at the Labour leadership hustings yesterday

A recent survey finds that one per cent of the population is vegan. How curious it’s such a small number. I must know them all. 

For all parents in despair about their child’s video-game habit, here are words of encouragement. They may be well-rewarded in the long run.

My son used to spend hours on Age of Empires, a war-mongering game requiring the building and defending of cities, and management of resources.

The other day he caught up with a schoolfriend, after a decade or so. The friend is now earning a healthy salary at management consultants McKinsey and my son discovered part of its recruitment process is based on playing a version of that game. 

Every time management consultants have been brought into anywhere I’ve had anything to do with, they have generally been a waste of time and money. Now I see why.

My son used to spend hours on Age of Empires, a war-mongering game requiring the building and defending of cities, and management of resources. The other day he caught up with a schoolfriend, after a decade or so

Canada? So dull Dad couldn’t wait to leave 

Our father left Canada, land of his birth, because he found it as stifling and confining as Meghan finds us.

As children we were brought up to imagine it as dull as the British seaside on a wet Sunday.

No doubt other Canadians found it more exciting, but the place has certainly changed.

Canada now scores one of the highest popularity ratings in the world as a place to live, has a young, media-savvy Prime Minister, a thriving economy, terrific universities and, of course, it is where the Sussexes intend to nest.

Dad left his family in Toronto’s Jewish enclave to serve in the Canadian military during the war, came to London and never returned.

He never lost an opportunity after that to make jokes about his homeland, often to other Canadians who, unlike himself, didn’t find them that funny. 

A favourite once shared with a highly esteemed Canadian businessman (let’s call him Arthur), a fellow who was immensely proud of his homeland, was: ‘Arthur, you know what Al Capone said about Canada?’

Arthur politely conceded that he had no idea.

Dad beamed. ‘Canada? I don’t even know what street it’s on.’ 

As children we were brought up to imagine it as dull as the British seaside on a wet Sunday. No doubt other Canadians found it more exciting, but the place has certainly changed

The awards season has become more about who’s been left out than who’s been nominated, so I would like to add my own gripe. How come The Gentlemen has escaped mention? 

Hugh Grant as a sleazeball private eye, Michelle Dockery slaying it as an Essex queen and wife of top crim, the delicious Matthew McConaughey. 

Nothing there not to love in this refreshingly non-PC caper. Which is probably why it’s failed to get due recognition in these stultifyingly woke times.

To aim for gender equality in my observations about people’s personal appearance, I have a few words to say to our Prime Minister: short socks, bare ankles, rising trousers – not a good look. 

In his first TV interview of the New Year, Boris’s manspreading caused his trousers to rise up and reveal a patch of pasty white ankle showing he couldn’t have been doing much sunbathing on whatever Caribbean island he recently holidayed on (I’ve heard Barbados not Mustique). 

Men’s long socks are not the most attractive of things but occasionally needs must – unless Boris is going to consider the hipster option of no socks at all.  

Boris’s manspreading caused his trousers to rise up and reveal a patch of pasty white ankle showing he couldn’t have been doing much sunbathing

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