ALEXANDRA SHULMAN: Think moving in is stressful? Imagine being Boris

ALEXANDRA SHULMAN’S NOTEBOOK: Think moving in is stressful? Imagine being Boris Johnson and girlfriend Carrie Symonds negotiating their new status as the first unmarried couple in 10 Downing Street

Moving in with each other is a big deal. Imagine, if you will – though I’ll forgive you if you’d rather not! – being Boris Johnson and Carrie Symonds negotiating their new status as the first unmarried couple in 10 Downing Street at the same time as being two of the most scrutinised individuals in the land.

Most people in a relationship as relatively new as theirs might still be wondering whether it’s too presumptuous to leave a toothbrush at the other’s flat.

Although they’ve been living together for months, shacking up in your girlfriend’s pad when you’ve moved out of the marital home is not at all the same as moving in together. That’s just a holding pattern. 

There’s also the inescapable fact that romantic relationships when you live apart have the built-in advantage of allowing you to look forward to being with each other. Living together takes a sledgehammer to that [File photo]

It’s when one person’s stuff – their clothes, furniture, shaving foam, vinyl collections, books, cracked china, and souvenir shot glasses – has to merge with the other’s that you know you’re in it for the long haul.

In Boris and Carrie’s case they will be helped by the fact that Downing Street is neither’s original home. There’s no one person who will have the sense of their patch being invaded. 

Even if the invader is someone you dearly want to be with. And I doubt Boris is going to kick up too much of a fuss over the colour of the new curtains.

But sharing domestic life is never entirely simple. As one half of an unmarried couple, I remember how pleased I was when David decided to move in and live with my son and I – although typing that now I realise that moment didn’t actually happen. 

Somehow, he was just there. Along with an increasing amount of his belongings.

Although they’ve been living together for months, shacking up in your girlfriend’s pad when you’ve moved out of the marital home is not at all the same as moving in together. That’s just a holding pattern [File photo]

I had no concerns at all about whether we would be happy living together but where to hang his pictures – his collection of 1960s posters was going to need some dealing with – was something else. 

Luckily, David is almost St Francis in his lack of interest in possessions but even so we have had our moments. A collection of huge photo books of naked yogis anyone?

There’s also the inescapable fact that romantic relationships when you live apart have the built-in advantage of allowing you to look forward to being with each other. Living together takes a sledgehammer to that. 

Delightful as it is to be in your loved one’s company, few would claim that sharing the bathroom sink day in, day out is one of life’s great aphrodisiacs.

And it denies either of you an escape route at those times we all have when you can’t stand the sight of the other. 

Passionate arguments are much easier to deal with if one of you can slam the door and retreat to your own home for, in the phrase of the moment, a period of reflection.

A solution no longer available to our first couple next time the Prime Minister drives his girlfriend mad – or when he spills red wine on the pristine white sofa…

It’s when one person’s stuff – their clothes, furniture, shaving foam, vinyl collections, books, cracked china, and souvenir shot glasses – has to merge with the other’s that you know you’re in it for the long haul [File photo]

Every mum’s drill rap nightmare…

Little makes you feel as ancient as being a parent. A friend’s 15-year-old daughter recently announced her plan to head to Oxford’s O2 for a Headie One concert. Headie One? 

A friend’s 15-year-old daughter recently announced her plan to head to Oxford’s O2 for a Headie One concert. Headie One?

No, me neither… nor her mother, who immediately Googled the singer and discovered he was a North London drill star who had been sent down three times for dealing crack and heroin. 

Obviously, her daughter was having none of any parental attempts to persuade her not to go, so instead her mother reverted to phoning the O2 to find out about their security arrangements for the night.

She had expected the operator to be impatient of this middle-class helicopter mum banging on about her concerns but instead they patiently tried to allay her fears.

Of course, they explained, they would be having extra security on the door for this particular show. And she shouldn’t worry. 

Even the artists would be searched for guns and knives in case a fight broke out. A response she, not surprisingly, found somewhat less than reassuring.

Very modern take on Madonna and Child

Was anyone else deeply moved by the sight of Stella Creasy, below, Kemi Badenoch and Ellie Reeves being sworn in as MPs at the House of Commons with their tiny babies held close? 

I found the images a delightfully timely 21st Century version of Madonna and Child.

Lethal Catch 22 that claimed poor Parys

One of the saddest stories I’ve read for a long time is that of Parys Lapper, the 19-year-old son of disabled artist Alison who died earlier this year of an accidental drug overdose. 

Last week’s inquest revealed that his local mental health services had withdrawn treatment until he dealt with his substance abuse – an utterly bewildering decision. 

Drug addiction and mental health problems are almost always completely intertwined. 

To expect a young man to be able to deal with one while suffering from the other is more than unrealistic – it is borderline inhumane.

For a supposedly sophisticated nation, we are depressingly poor at dealing with either problem. It can take up to nine months just to access some therapy on the NHS. 

I know many people who have had to resort to wildly expensive American treatment centres for either themselves or their children – an option only available to the very, very few and certainly not somebody such as Parys.

Treating these twinned problems independently will almost always be doomed to failure. 

Instead we need to invest in a far more holistic approach to stop drug-fuelled depression, schizophrenia, paranoia and anxiety claiming the lives of far too many, both old and young.

Last week’s inquest revealed that his local mental health services had withdrawn treatment until he dealt with his substance abuse – an utterly bewildering decision. Alison Lapper is pictured with Parys

Well done BBC! Now everyone hates you

If I were the BBC’s Director-General Tony Hall, I’d be giving myself a big old pat on the back. 

They must be doing something right to be pilloried for being wildly biased in their Election coverage by everyone of every persuasion. 

If nobody’s happy, that has to mean job well done.

Why I’m hiding cash in dirty pillow cases

I’ve often wondered where to leave a tip for the hotel room cleaners. Well now I know – and it’s not the bedside table. It’s inside the pillow case. 

Apparently, in many big hotel chains, by the time the cleaners get to a room, somebody who knows when someone’s checked out will have done a quick sweep of the room and beaten them to it. 

A tenner inside the dirty laundry ensures it gets to the person for whom it was intended.

I’ve often wondered where to leave a tip for the hotel room cleaners. Well now I know – and it’s not the bedside table [File photo]

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