'Being mixed is like being a fly on the wall – you hear some problematic things'

Rob Law’s father is from Trinidad and Tobago, his mum is white British – but there are more layers to his heritage.

‘My father’s father is half Spanish, from Venezuela,’ explains Rob, ‘Although I mainly tend to just keep it simple and tell people that I am half black and half white. Which technically, I am.’

Rob’s dad came to the UK during the Windrush era. He landed in Liverpool where he met Rob’s mum and opened his own business. Something that Rob is enduringly proud of.

‘Dad’s business was selling women’s clothing and jewellery – which was quiet astounding for someone to do who was from the Caribbean and had only recently arrived in the country at that time.

‘But he managed to make an impression and he became very known by the local people, as well as those from his own community.

‘My mother worked in the hospital, and went on to work in an administrative role for a local law firm. Later in life she went on to become a solicitor.’

Rob is proud of his history and of his mixed heritage, particularly when he thinks about the trials his family had to overcome in the early years.

When Rob’s mum found herself unmarried and pregnant with the child of a Caribbean immigrant, she decided to leave the city where she had always lived. She felt she had no choice but to start afresh because of the disapproval of her family.

‘The fact that she wasn’t married and was having a baby outside of her own race – it was seen as a sin. She came from a very narrow-minded, working class background, and she knew that what she was doing would be frowned upon.

‘When she did eventually give birth to me, she told my grandparents. They let down their guard and insisted she come back so they would have the chance to play a part in my upbringing.

‘Having a mixed-race grandson was a learning curve for my grandparents, and it opened up their minds and slightly changed their attitudes.

‘They have been great ever since, and they played a really positive role in my upbringing.

‘My grandfather and I have had some heated and interesting debates as I have got older and began to understand the world more. But we respect one another.

‘At times have agreed to disagree on certain issues, but it has never been anything too serious.’

Rob’s ideas about self-identity have been largely influenced by his schooling and education. He says not being taught adequately about black history has lead him to seek this information out himself, and therefore identify more strongly with this part of who he is.

‘All we were taught of black history in schools was that black people were slaves – that would pretty much be it,’ says Rob. ‘I would feel so awkward and uncomfortable because it made me believe that was the only history black people had.

‘I started to do my own research and met friends who taught me about my black heritage, and suggested books I should read and things I should research.

‘Even being brought up most of my life by my white family, in terms of history, black history resonates with me the most.’

Rob has experienced open and covert racism countless times in his life – but he says that looking racially ‘ambiguous’ adds a different dynamic to how he is perceived in those situations.

‘I do know that I experience racism different to other members of my family due to how I look,’ he explains.

‘Having a racially ambiguous look when I am at an airport, for example, I do get treated more harshly than others as security tend to think I am perhaps Egyptian or from Morocco.

‘They make the racist presumption that all people from these places are part of a terrorist organisation. I know they seem to think I am from these places as they have actually asked me if I am. I often get an extra pat down and angry look.’

Rob knows what it’s like to be ‘othered’ by both white and black people. Although he can now look at those incidents in isolation and doesn’t believe it is something that is symptomatic of being mixed-race, but rather the individual prejudices of a minority.

‘I have had ignorance from both black and white people due to how I look, act and sound,’ he explains. ‘While I was growing up, to some white people I was just another ethnic minority and worthless. This was how some people thought in Liverpool at that time.

‘Then, when I moved to Bath, which is also multicultural like London, I was not considered black enough by the kids in the area. Due to the way l looked and sounded at the time.

‘I soon learned that those particular white people and those particular black people where embracing a stereotype of themselves. And this did not reflect the wider society of black and white people in the country.’

One thing Rob does note though is how being mixed-race exposes you to conversations that you may have never been aware of if you weren’t able to operate in this in-between space. And that can be uncomfortable.

‘We are privy to in-depth conversations discussing the most outlandish things about people of other races,’ says Rob. ‘From both sides – it’s incredible how some people seem to feel so comfortable saying these things.

‘Being mixed-race and listening to some white people’s or some black people’s thoughts, is like being a fly on the wall.’

Rob attributes his openness as a person to his exposure to multiple cultures, but also to the personalities of his parents and what he learned from their behaviour.

‘I love the fact that I am part of two different races,’ says Rob. ‘My mother’s support throughout my life has helped me to see the world differently.

‘When my mum met my dad, she was drawn to him because of who he was as a person. His persona and the way he conducts himself. She had never previously dated outside of her race, but she was open to learn from people from all backgrounds.

‘She has always been very open-minded and has always had an interest in different cultures which was rare for someone from the neighbourhood in Liverpool where she grew up.

‘Being mixed-race does not add anything particular to my life, although I feel comfortable in predominantly white and black spaces. Which I would like to think any person would, regardless of race.’

Mixed Up

Mixed Up is our weekly series that gets to the heart of what it means to be mixed-race in the UK today.

Going beyond discussions of divided identity, this series takes a look at the unique joys, privileges and complexities that come with being mixed-race – across of variety of different contexts.

The mixed-race population is the UK’s fastest-growing ethnic group, and yet there is still so much more to understand about the varied lived experiences of individuals within this hugely heterogenous group.

Each week we speak to the people who know exactly how it feels to navigate this inbetween space.

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