CRAIG BROWN: New shows on Netflix Part 2 – Polly puts the kettle on
CRAIG BROWN: New shows on Netflix and Amazon Prime, Part 2 – Polly fettles her kettle and makes a killing
Hitler: The Final Days
In a bid to shed the stuffy, niche ‘history’ label and attract the all-important teenage market, the producers have Adolf and Eva enrolling as fitness instructors at an American High School
Though this was originally planned as a one-off, ending in the death of the Fuhrer, its success prompted Amazon Prime to rush-release this fast-moving follow-up:
Hitler: Beyond the Final Days
Episode 1: Lying flat on the floor of his bunker, Adolf opens an eye and peers around. The room is empty: everyone has gone away, leaving him for dead.
‘Hey, Eva!’ he whispers to his girlfriend, lying beside him, ‘We fooled ’em! Let’s get the hell outta here!’
Episode 2: Adolf grows his hair, shaves off his moustache and dons a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. Eva encourages him to take things less seriously in future. ‘Let’s relax, and have us some fun, Ade!’
Episode 3: In a bid to shed the stuffy, niche ‘history’ label and attract the all-important teenage market, the producers have Adolf and Eva enrolling as fitness instructors at an American High School.
This is apparently based on fact. The series’ distinguished historical adviser, Bob Tracey, explains: ‘After extensive research, I was unable to find a single document that says Hitler and Eva Braun were not employed as fitness instructors after the war, so I think it’s fair to speculate that it’s all true, though some of the names have been changed.’
Episode 4: Ade and Eva put a classroom of attractive Lycra-clad youngsters through a series of dance routines to a soundtrack featuring top hits from the Fifties.
Episode 5: Tension mounts. Leafing through an old magazine, Brad, one of their top students, spots a photograph of Berlin in 1943. He looks twice. ‘Hey! You never guess what! These guys look exactly like you two!’
Eva lets out a nervous giggle. ‘No way, man! You must be kidding!’ exclaims Ade. But something about the hurried way they reach for their bottles of water arouses Brad’s deepest suspicions …
Polly put the kettle on: series 1
Episode 1: Polly puts the kettle on.
Episode 2: Polly puts the kettle on.
Episode 3: Polly puts the kettle on.
Episode 4: We all have tea.
Initially, the first series of Polly Put The Kettle On attracted a dedicated art-house following. The Observer noted: ‘This director refuses to be rushed.
‘Boldly, she turns her back on the current fad for endless action at the expense of social insight. Daring to focus for three hours on brewing a single pot of tea, she creates a profound and moving portrait of the human condition.’
Polly put the kettle on: series 2
Episode 1: Sukey takes it off again.
Episode 2: Sukey takes it off again.
Episode 3: Sukey takes it off again.
Episode 4: They’ve all gone away.
By the end of Series 2, many viewers complained that the drama was too predictable and slow-moving. ‘I always knew exactly what was going to happen next,’ complained one.
To stem declining viewing figures, Netflix brought in a hot new scriptwriter, best known for his work in Scandi Noir.
Initially, the first series of Polly Put The Kettle On attracted a dedicated art-house following but by end of Series 2, many viewers complained the drama was too predictable and slow-moving
Polly put the kettle on: series 3
Episode 1: Polly puts the kettle on, but Sukey immediately takes it off again. Polly puts it on again. Sukey takes it off again.
Episode 2: The two women wrestle on the kitchen floor.
Polly screams: ‘You never wanted me to boil that kettle, did you?! You’ve always wanted to stop me pursuing my dreams!’
Sukey screams back: ‘Oh, don’t give me that, you no-good kettle-thief! That was my kettle and you had no doggone right to boil it!’
Episode 3: Polly picks up a potato peeler and stabs Sukey in the chest.
Sukey retaliates by cutting off Polly’s index finger with a carving knife. Hearing the commotion, a neighbour calls the police.
A SWAT team assembles outside the kitchen.
Episode 4: The SWAT team breaks down the door. They are confronted by a bloodbath.
Sukey is lying dead in the hallway. ‘Polly did it’ is written in blood on the wall.
In the kitchen, the SWAT team finds Polly putting the kettle on again with her few remaining fingers. A wicked smile plays across her face.
Viewing figures for Series 3 shot up, ensuring a forthcoming fourth series.
In Series 4, Polly Takes On The World, Polly will boil her kettle in exotic locations all around the world, ruthlessly murdering anyone who tries to get in her way.
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