Here, five mums say they are proud to let their sons defy convention

Leave our lads’ long locks alone! In the 21st century, are curls really just for girls? Here, five mums say they are proud to let their sons defy convention

From short-back-and-sides, to mullets and footballers’ quiffs, the fashion for boys’ hair is ever changing. Now, many are choosing to grow their hair longer — and longer. But what’s it really like to live with a son with Rapunzel hair? Jill Foster hears the tangled tales of five mums… 

I’LL FIGHT FOR HIS RIGHT TO HAVE LONG HAIR

Bonnie Miller, 41, is a student and a photographer. She lives in Fulham, West London, with her son Farouk, eight. She is separated from Farouk’s father and has two grown-up sons and a daughter.

When I was pregnant with Farouk, we had a six-month scan and the doctors couldn’t tell us the sex because there was so much hair in the way. It was already 3cm long when he was born!

At first, we let it grow long for cultural reasons. His father is Ghanaian and their culture says a child’s hair must not be cut until the age of three. But we just weren’t prepared for how quickly it would grow. We have to trim a couple of inches off every few weeks. Currently, it’s a metre long!

Farouk loves it. He’s horrified by the thought of cutting it short and says his hair is part of his identity. I also think it’s a comfort blanket for him.

He’s been modelling since he was nine months but even modelling agencies say he’d get more work if he cut it.

Bonnie Miller, 41, is a student and a photographer. She lives in Fulham, West London, with her son Farouk, eight

Yet he has 271,000 followers on his Instagram page and we get so much positive feedback. Some children say they are bullied because of their ‘different’ hair, but seeing the modelling work Farouk has done gives them confidence and makes them feel more accepted.

There have been negative comments, too, though. A boy once asked Farouk if he was worried ‘people would think you are gay’. One lady was furious with us for washing his hair in the shower at a health club, and people are always mistaking him for a girl, although Farouk shrugs it off.

I’ve also had people say to me ‘You only want him to have long hair because you wanted a daughter’ — but that’s nonsense. I’ve already got a daughter and two granddaughters.

It wasn’t until I started thinking about secondary schools that I realised we might have a problem. The ones I want to send him to all insist boys can’t have hair that reaches below their collar.

It seems ridiculous that in 2020 there’s one rule for boys and one for girls. Throughout history, boys have had long hair. The really ironic thing is that these are religious schools and Jesus and Moses had long hair.

I understand why long hair might be a risk in some circumstances. But we can tie Farouk’s hair up very neatly in braids or a bun.

This is not only a sexist issue but a racial one. There’s a lot of prejudice about Afro hair. It’s ridiculous. I’ve complained to the Equalities and Human Rights Commission and I’d love the Government to prohibit children from having to remove anything that is natural.

I’m even considering registering Farouk at the school as non-binary because I feel everyone should be classed as gender neutral. It’s not that he is gender neutral — he feels very much like a boy and doesn’t want to be a girl — but as a society, people make assumptions about long hair. Why should it only be girls who have long hair?

I don’t want to offend anyone, but I’m up for a fight with this.

IF ANYONE CALLS HIM A GIRL, HE GROWLS

Sam Andrews, 36, is a stay-at-home mum. She and partner Mark Bassy, 47, a former salesman, live in Cranbrook, Devon, with son Oscar, four.

When Oscar was a baby, we loved his blond curls so much we couldn’t bear to cut them. But these days, his hairstyle is completely down to him. It’s so long now that when it’s wet it touches his bottom. A lot of hairdressers have turned us away when we’ve asked for it to be trimmed. When we eventually did get him into one, it took two stylists to comb and blow dry it.

Sam Andrews, 36, is a stay-at-home mum. She and partner Mark Bassy, 47, a former salesman, live in Cranbrook, Devon, with son Oscar, four

Although he adores his hair, he still gets really defensive when people talk about it, particularly when they call him a girl.

Even though we’ve tried to make it obvious by dressing him in blue, the older generation have always said: ‘Oh, isn’t she a pretty girl.’ It’s reached the point where he’ll growl at them.

A couple of weeks ago, when we were at the theme park near us, some young kids started laughing at him and he was really upset. But, despite this, he’s never wanted to have his hair cut. He knows what styles he likes and what he doesn’t. We were worried when he started in reception class because you’re supposed to have your hair tied up — and he hates that. But luckily, that’s only happened once!

HE JUST LOVES THE ATTENTION HE GETS

Beautician Lauren Renzi, 36, lives near Great Yarmouth with Andrew George, 51, a warehouse manager, and their son Grayson, six, and daughter Beau, nine.

When Grayson’s hair started turning curly at 18 months, it was a little messy so we decided to let it grow longer to see if it suited him better. It did!

But it’s now 19in long, and in summer it makes him really hot, so these days we’re always offering to take him to the hairdressers.

However, he says no every time. In fact, the only time he did say he wanted it cut, as soon as he sat down in the hairdresser’s chair he cried, so we took him home!

Beautician Lauren Renzi, 36, lives near Great Yarmouth with Andrew George, 51, a warehouse manager, and their son Grayson, six (pictured), and daughter Beau, nine

Some family members often ask when he’s going to get it cut. I don’t think the older generation like to see boys with long hair.

But he loves the attention he gets. People are fascinated and are always wanting to touch it.

However, Grayson has a little girlfriend who says that when they are married he’s going to have to get it cut short — so we’ll have to see about that!

At school, he’s been told that he has to wear his hair up for PE and art, for health and safety reasons, but he hasn’t been told to have it cut. I don’t have to worry about senior schools for another five years yet, but I hope that if Grayson wants to keep his hair long, then he is allowed to do so. I think it’s disgusting that children should be told to cut something so natural as hair.

As long as it’s neat and safe, they should be allowed to wear it however they like.

Teacher Anna Nicholas, 40, lives in South Norwood, London, with sons Cyrus, eight, and Cairo, nine. Separated from their father, she also has a grown-up son and daughter.

When I had Cairo, I was astounded by his hair because it was so long that I could tie it up as soon as he was born.

When Cyrus was born and it was the same with his hair, it still came as a surprise.

My plan was for them to have dreadlocks, because my former partner’s family all had them. However, when we split I didn’t want to carry on that tradition. But when I saw how beautiful their long hair was, I couldn’t bring myself to have it cut.

I have to admit, it’s a mission to keep their hair healthy and neat and it takes me a full day to wash, blow-dry it, style it with cream and then plait it.

Teacher Anna Nicholas, 40, lives in South Norwood, London, with sons Cyrus, eight, and Cairo, nine (left)

Most of the time, I have my daughter, Cheyeanne, 22, to help me. The boys hate it because of how long it takes, but once it’s braided they love it.

Unfortunately, they’ve faced their fair share of negative comments.

Once, a lady asked me why I haven’t cut their hair — in front of the two of them! She told me they shouldn’t have long hair because they’re boys, but I told them she was jealous because she would have to pay a lot of money to get her hair like theirs.

They’re also very pretty, so they’re often mistaken for girls. Cairo, whose hair measures 63.5cm, shrugs it off, but Cyrus, whose hair is 61cm, used to get bothered by it a lot.

However, I’ve raised them to believe that they’re kings, and their hair is their crown so they wear it with pride.

I think they need to accept that people are going to be very judgmental no matter what. I’m trying to teach them to be thick-skinned.

But there are definitely more lovely comments than nasty ones. They’re quite well known in our local area because they’re just so cute!

MY DAD WANTS HIM TO CUT IT SHORT

Estelle Keeber, 37, lives in Leicester with her sons Obi, nine, (pictured) and Jed, 11

Estelle Keeber, 37, is the co-founder of the Mums In Business Association. She lives in Leicester with her sons Obi, nine, and Jed, 11.

Obi has beautiful long hair but it was never our plan to grow it. For a while he had short hair, but he has two cowlicks at the front and a double crown at the back, so it stuck up in funny angles.

It was always challenging to keep his hair styled nicely, so when he was around five we let it grow. Luckily for him, this was around the same time that footballer Gareth Bale had a man bun.

Children at school did make fun of him at first, and tell him that long hair is for girls, but he would remind them about Gareth Bales and they let him be.

It’s become more popular since and now they find it really cool.

He has an undercut, where it’s very short underneath the 24in long layers, because it’s the best of both worlds and looks great up and down.

The only time we consider getting his hair cut is in the mornings, when we have to brush it!

As a family, we’re very open minded and don’t like to stereotype, so we’d never tell him he can’t do something just because he’s a boy.

However, the older generation often have something to say about it. My dad makes it clear he thinks boys should have short hair. But we brush it off and have a joke with him. Obi will just call him baldy!

It’s relatively easy to maintain and, as he’s getting older, it’s getting to the point where he can blow dry it himself — although I still do it most days.

Obi loves the fact he’s different and doesn’t listen to the negative reactions. He also likes the attention from the ladies. His long hair gives girls something to relate to! 

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