How I Do It: 'I use a wheelchair – this is my week in sex'

Welcome to How I Do It – the weekly series that gives you a seven-day peek into the sex life of someone new.

For this week’s instalment, we hear from Kelly, who’s the head of creative at sex toy company Hot Octopuss.

The 32-year old is pansexual and soon to be married. Kelly’s also a parent, and she uses a wheelchair.

She has a condition called spinal muscular atrophy type three, which causes muscle wastage and gets worse over time.

Kelly describes her relationship with sex as ‘everything’, adding that it’s ‘a huge part of who I am, and masturbation and self-love is a ritual for me’.

She is happy that she has a ‘really healthy relationship with sex and communication’, owing at least in part to the nature of her job.

In future, she’d like her sex life to be ‘a little more adventurous,’ as she and her partner can find themselves mostly doing what they know works.

Without further ado, here’s Kelly’s week in sex…

Monday

I’m strangely bright and awake for a Monday. I feel ready to go, in more ways than one.

My partner and I have really open communication and if either of us wants to masturbate or use the plethora of sex toys that come with working within the sex industry, we simply just say.

I love when he wants to use the products because not only does it give me invaluable feedback and great perspective I can’t get as a vulva owner, I just love the idea of him owning his pleasure – something a lot of cis-hetero guys don’t feel comfortable to do.

The long and short of it is, I grab one of my toys and have what I think is about a 30-second wank.

Tuesday

Today I have booked in a full-on admin day. These days, meetings seem constant, which means there is seldom time for real work.

The only trouble with admin days is that the procrastination is real. As we both work from home there is also more time in the day when the kids are at nursery/school to have a quick afternoon session.

Quite a lot of the time I instigate sex, usually just by talking about how horny I am. But today my partner decided that we should use the hoist for sex.

This is rare, and super fun. As a wheelchair user, hoists are essentially used to help transfer me from a chair to a bed or into a bath, etc. But they are ridiculously similar to sex swings.

Using the hoist allows me to take control and to go on top or for amazing “standing sex”. We did both. Not bad for a Tuesday afternoon.

Wednesday

Today, a new episode of our podcast, Pleasure Rebels, is released. This week we went live with Carly, who owns erotica company Aurore, and we are talking all things erotica and sexting.

We received listeners best and worst sexts, and reading them was hot (for the most part).

This week, I am recording a guest for next week’s show. I like to have a few episodes in the bag as life is so busy. I’m fascinated by dating apps and people’s profiles/how they represent themselves, so I am speaking to experts and dating site owners over the next few weeks.

Carly and I chatted about reading erotica and how it is good for partnered sex, so I log in to Aurore to check out some of their erotic stories. I go solo this time.

Thursday

Thursday is a pretty slow day – I have so much work to do. The brand is doing some huge exciting things, but that means putting them into action, so I spend Thursday basically tied to my laptop.

We get take out because I’m calling the weekend a day early, and I am too tired to cook.

We get into bed super early and start to watch Queer Eye. Then my partner says ‘I really want to f**k you missionary.’

It’s quite funny because our foreplay normally consists of ‘let’s have sex’ or ‘let’s do this position’ – we don’t hang about. I agree with a grin like a Cheshire cat, and then it ends in a sobbing emotional orgasm. Intense.

Friday

Oh, my, gosh. We woke up before the alarm today and the kids were still asleep (so rare) so we squeezed in a morning session in the spooning position.

It is a massively underrated position, great for half-asleep morning sex. Just as we finished there was an echo of ‘Muuuuum’ on the baby monitor. Good timing.

The rest of the day was full of work meetings and running the kids around to dreaded soft play – at least the day began well.

The day ended with more sex, which is even rarer than squeezing in a morning session. We always joke that two times a week is the max we seem to achieve, so this week has been super productive.

This was a lengthy one too. We had a good couple of hours of teasing and using products which is something we never get time to do.

We love the Atom Plus Luxe as a couple’s toy – it’s a dual stimulating cock ring with a remote, which means one of us takes control of the situation. We also love the Tracy Cox Supersex Lube from Lovehoney.

Cannot stress how important lube is. It turns good sex into amazing sex.

Saturday

Saturdays are family days, and they go one of two ways.

If the kids are on one, it can be stressful. If not, we can have a day so lovely it can bring me to tears.

Today we have a nice walk planned (yes, even though I’m a wheelchair user, we say walk).

We go around a local forest, have one of those emotional good days when the kids seem like they’re from an old school musical and halos glow around their heads.

Tonight we just chilled and had a nice cuddle in bed watching TV. I don’t think either of us can take anymore this week.

Sunday

Sunday can be quite chill in our house.

I love cooking, it’s a hobby which I hope one day to turn into a little side hustle, so every week I do a Sunday dinner which, if you follow me, you’ll see pop up on my stories.

We have a relaxing day, a big dinner and then put the kids to bed.

We love Sundays because if we have already eaten in the afternoon we never feel like dinner, so we split up and have chill time (which usually involves me working/writing and ultimately procrastinating/wanking) and my partner playing a game on his console which he barely ever has time to do.

We usually end up hanging out about 9pm or 9:30pm, but tonight he came in early, and we had sex again! I can’t quite believe it.

I may have to do this diary more often as it seems to be a good omen.

How I Do It

In Metro.co.uk’s How I Do It you get a sneak peek into a week of a person’s sex and love life – from vanilla love-making to fetishes, threesomes and polyamorous relationships, they reveal it all.

Fancy taking part yourself? Email [email protected] for more information.

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