DEAR DEIDRE: I ENDED my affair but I’m pregnant and the baby can’t be my husband’s.

For the last year, I’ve been having a fling with a guy who I met online. I’m not proud of myself, but I was unhappy.

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I’m 39 and have been married for five years to my husband, who is 45.

He has two children from his first marriage, and had a vasectomy before we met.

Although I never thought I wanted children, over the past couple of years my biological clock has been ticking loudly.

When I realised I would like a baby, I asked my husband if he’d get a reversal, but he said he really didn’t want more kids.

He pointedly reminded me that I knew that before we got married.

This created a distance between us and eventually, I started talking to a guy I met on social media. He’s a bit younger, at 33.

We ended up sleeping together several times, when my husband was at work.

I felt guilty every time we met, and so last month, I ended it and decided to work on my marriage.

Now I’ve missed two periods. I took a test a few days ago, and I’m definitely pregnant.

It can’t be my husband’s.

My lover and I used condoms, but we probably weren’t as careful as we should have been.

I don’t know what to do.

I don’t want an abortion, especially as I’m almost 40 and this is probably my last chance of motherhood — but I don’t think I have a choice.

If I tell my husband, our marriage will be over.

He heard me being sick the other day, and asked what was wrong. I lied, and said it was something I’d eaten, but that excuse won’t wash for long.

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I blocked my ex-lover on social media when we split, and he isn’t someone I’d want to be with long-term.

I feel so scared and alone.

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DEIDRE SAYS: You do have a choice, albeit a very difficult one.

You need to decide if you want this baby, even if it means the end of your marriage, and going it alone.

You say you dearly want to be a mother and this is likely to be your last chance.

So if you have an abortion, you may regret it for the rest of your life.

And you’ll also have to keep it a secret from your husband, which is bound to affect your relationship.

Either way, it’s probably best to come clean with him, because these things have a habit of coming out.

Read my support pack on Unplanned Pregnancy, which should help you to make a decision and will give you details of organisations that can help you.

If you keep the baby, it will be wise to talk to your ex-lover. He will have financial obligations to the child.

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