Is it a red flag to divulge you see a therapist on your first date?
Would YOU admit to having therapy on a first date? Heated debate over ‘red flags’ is sparked by relationship coach – with very conflicting responses
- Dating Coach, Louanne Ward, has sparked a debate over first date conversation
- She asked if talking about going to therapy is seen as a red or green flag
- Men appeared to see it as a red flag and feared it would lead to rejection
- But women said it would be viewed as a green flag and ideal way to start off
A dating coach has sparked a fierce debate online after asking if it is a ‘red flag’ if someone talks about their mental health and mentions having a therapist during a first date.
Louanne Ward put the question to her followers who were divided over the effect such a deep conversation could have on a budding relationship.
‘Is dating someone who admitted having therapy a red flag or a preference?’ she asked.
Dating coach Louanne Ward says she thinks people being open about mental health and therapy are green flags – but not everyone agrees
‘Would you feel comfortable talking about it on a first date?’
And people were quick to respond – with many agreeing an honest chat straight up would actually be a huge ‘green flag’ for them.
‘Everyone has ‘baggage’ and to be honest if I met someone who was really open about the fact they see a therapist (or have seen one in the past) I think I’d be more attracted to them,’ one woman wrote.
She added that this baggage turns up eventually, usually after the honeymoon period, so to see someone actively working on it is ‘amazing’.
‘I think the only time I’d ever be slightly nervous about discussing it is on a blind date when I have literally never met them before. But background like that is important,’ she added.
Another woman agreed she is ‘super attracted’ to honesty and would be more likely to pursue a relationship with a man who is up-front with their trauma.
For others it depended on how the conversation was brought up and whether the person had ‘learned anything’ from their sessions.
‘If they are telling you because they have managed to grow, become self-aware and learn how to move through life then I think it is wonderful.
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‘But if they just want to appear woke or chalk up brownie points and haven’t actually taken anything from it then it will show and that’s a turn off.
While women appeared to agree they would see it as a positive in a partner men appeared to be less sure.
One man said it would take a ‘very brave person’ to be so open on a first date while another said he fears it would lead to rejection.
‘It is like admitting to a life-long injury,’ the man said, adding there ‘aren’t many women out there’ who would really be ok with the conversation.
Another man said it is a red flag for him because it ‘takes the fun out’ of the first date.
‘Disclosed at any other time and it is a positive,’ he added.
While a third man said it depends on ‘how much you like someone’ if you like them enough then no conversation is too hard.
The dating coach weighed in on the topic after others had their say, revealing she ultimately sees it as a green flag as well.
‘Going into a new relationship knowing someone has dealt with their past would be a green flag for me,’ she said.
‘I see that as an ideal way to build a really strong foundation at the genesis of a new relationship.
‘We are all in need of a little clarity, that we use a professional to assist us is wise.’
The post appeared on the popular ‘he said, she said’ Facebook Page where singles get to have their say on a plethora of controversial relationship topics.
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