My demanding daughter has forced my relationship to end

DEAR DEIDRE: MY demanding daughter has forced my relationship to end. She has always been very protective of me, so I was wary of introducing her to my partner. 

Luckily they got on and after six months my partner moved in with us. She’s 59, I’m a man of 63 and my daughter is 23. 

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But one night I came downstairs to find them arguing. My partner had asked if we could have one evening a week to spend as a couple.

My daughter was furious. She felt forced-out and called my partner “controlling”. She gave me an ultimatum: Either my girlfriend moved out or she would leave home. My daughter was skint, so I asked my girlfriend if she could move back to her flat for a few weeks. 

That didn’t go down well and she left me. I miss her and want to start again, but can’t risk losing my daughter.

DEIDRE SAYS: Your girlfriend’s idea wasn’t unreasonable, but it would have been better coming from you.

Explain to your daughter you want to be with your girlfriend. She will inevitably move out and on to the next stage of her life – just as it should be. 

Encourage her to see your girlfriend as an addition to both your lives. I am sure she doesn’t want you to be lonely.

Once you know your daughter’s attitude has changed, talk to your ex and explain your feelings. 

If you do rekindle your relationship, agree that any issues with your daughter will come through you.

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