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My wife wants to stop our sexual cheating fantasy and I feel hurt

DEAR DEIDRE: I HAVE a fantasy I act out with my wife. We go to a bar together and pretend we are just friends who share a flat.

She picks up a guy and takes him home with her to have sex, then she tells me all about it afterwards.

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She is 43 and I am 46. I get off on watching her seduce another man and then hearing all the details afterwards.

She gets off on telling me all about it while we have sex. She will then have much stronger orgasms.

But she’s recently gone off it all.

She says she feels bad about going with another man and that she does not want to think about it afterwards.

She says she wants me to improve my skills rather than her having to find another man. I feel hurt.

DEIDRE SAYS: Try to appreciate the compliment that your wife only wants to have sex with you.

There is an ego-boost in there if you can accept it.

If you try to pressure your wife into continuing to act out your fantasy, you risk putting a real dampener on your sex life.

No one should ever do anything sexually that is not their own free choice and, of course, these days swinging risks spreading the coronavirus.

Ask your wife what changes she would enjoy in the way you have sex. Be open to experiment and she can be your best teacher.

My e-leaflet on Sexual Fantasies explains where to find support if you feel stuck.

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