The new guy I've been seeing seemed keen until I mentioned commitment | The Sun
DEAR DEIDRE: DESPITE stating he only wanted a casual relationship, the guy I have been seeing for six months has been spending more and more time with me in my house.
I was sure he was starting to have feelings for me – as I was for him – so I plucked up the courage to ask if he wanted more commitment.
I even asked if he’d consider moving in completely.
It was as if he had seen a ghost. He couldn’t get out quick enough – all the while insisting he was fine and he just needed time to think.
Now I’ve discovered that he’s moved back in with his ex-wife. I’m 49, he’s 51 and his ex is also 51.
Yet he still visits me and insists there is nothing to worry about him and his former partner.
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He says he’s sleeping in the spare room and they are friends and nothing more.
He’s gone back to telling me he only wants to keep it casual with me but that he might feel differently one day.
What on earth is going on? Should I wait or finish it?
One thing is for sure, a casual arrangement doesn’t work for me. My head’s in a spin and I can’t tell if I’m coming or going.
DEIDRE SAYS: This man was honest with you and was clear that he isn’t available for a committed relationship. But since you told him about your feelings, he has started to give you mixed signals and is essentially doing exactly what he wants without any explanation.
You know you aren’t cut out for such an arrangement.
You would be far better off cutting communication with him and looking for someone else who is capable of committing.
He knows you want more than he can give, yet he is happy to keep stringing you along, with the obvious benefits.
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