Comcast CEO Says Coronavirus 'Could Have Material Adverse Impact'

“Babe” (1995): Ugly cry-smiling when James Cromwell says “that’ll do, pig” doesn’t boost antibodies, but if does make you feel damn good.

“Back to the Future” (1985): Marty fixes his life and his parents’ lives with time travel. Then we get a SUPER DOPE sequel hook. And then comes Huey Lewis and the News at their artistic and commercial peak to make you feel so good you won’t care about a statewide lockdown.

“Bridesmaids” (2012): New friendships made, old friendships saved, a romantic comedy romance for our heroine, then the cast lip syncs to “Hold On” by Wilson Phillips and it rules so much you don’t mind sheltering at home for a month. 

“Bring It On” (2000): The Compton Clovers win the tournament, Isis (Gabrielle Union) and Torrence (Kirsten Dunst) become friends, The Toros’ second-place finish still feels like a win because they did it without cheating, and then the cast mimes a cover of “Hey Mickey” that’s so much fun who cares if society is crumbling.

“Chef” (2014): This is a great movie if you want to remember the Before Times, when we could still leave our houses and eat street food. You also get a dance party in the closing credits. Take that, end times anxiety.

“Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs” (2009): Tim FINALLY shows real affection for his son and then Flint and Sam kiss. No, I’m not coughing I’m crying. 

“Dora and the Lost City of Gold” (2019): Nothing makes the pandemic blues fade like a great movie that also does an affectionate parody of “Dora the Explorer” tropes, then ends with an amazing musical number that basically recaps everything we learned.

“Fast Five” (a.k.a. “Fast & Furious 5”) (2011): “Come on, baby. Don’t be mean.” Cue millions of dollars and a montage of our heroes living THAT life set to Don Omar’s “Danza Kuduro.” THEN Dom and Brian do a street race set to Omar’s “How We Roll.” Hell yeah, we roll like this!

“Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey” (1993): Wait, the two dogs and their kitty friend make it home alive and Chance learns to love his family? Shut up! I’m not crying; you’re crying. I SAID SHUT UP! I AM NOT CRYING!

“Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again!” (2018): It’s already one of the greatest movie musicals of all time before the ending turns into a totally insane sing along to Abba’s “Super Trouper” featuring the older characters dancing with their younger selves, the ghost of Meryl Streep, and CHER!!!!

“Pitch Perfect” series (2012-2017): All three of these perfect movies are perfect but the third in the series ends with a staggering performance of George Michael’s “Freedom ’90,” and then the romantic loose ends are tied up in the credits. Pandemic depression cured!

“Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping” (2016): The criminally underappreciated masterpiece from The Lonely Island is nonstop hilarious, and then Michael Bolton shows up at the end to sing “Incredible Thoughts.” Also, the picture here is the world’s cutest kitten just hugging a dog, which you’d know if your brain was a genius.

“The Princess Bride” (1987): That really was the best kiss of all time.

“Ratatouille” (2007): You know this movie is great and you know the end is great. Seems like now would be a great time to watch it again, doesn’t it?

“School of Rock” (2003): “It’s a Long Way to the Top (If You Wanna Rock n’ Roll)” by AC/DC is indisputably the best rock song ever recorded. And Jack Black and the kids play it at the end of this great movie.

“Shazam!” (2019): By far the best movie not called “Superman: The Movie” to be based on a DC Comic. If you didn’t yell “Hell Yes” and embarrass yourself in the theater when the thing depicted in the image above happened, you need a hug. 

“Sing Street” (2016): Awesome songs, a great coming-of-age story, then we end with a truly cathartic bittersweet moment of hope for the future and the successful pursuit of one’s dreams. For instance, I dream of being able to leave the house again.

“To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before” (2018): This is a pretty good kiss, too.

“Trolls” (2016): When Justin Timberlake and Anna Kendrick sing “Can’t Stop the Feeling” to turn the Bergens into happy dancing party people your mood will be dramatically improved, and I know because in November 2016 I saw this three times in the theater because, for some reason, I needed cheering up.

“Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory” (1971): “Don’t forget what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he wanted.” “What’s that?” “He lived happily ever after.” Just like we will once this whole thing is over.