Roxanne Pallet opens up about her 'mental injuries' after revealing best friend's suicide gave her PTSD
ROXANNE Pallet has opened up about her "mental injuries" as she reveals her best friend's suicide gave her PTSD.
The 36-year-old came under fire in Celebrity Big Brother last year when she exaggerated a playful punch from Ryan Thomas and accused him of violence.
In a post ahead of Mental Health Awareness week from next Monday, Roxanne wrote on Instagram today: "I want to open up about some things you may not know, as I’ve found there’s a lot of judgement out there with little knowledge when it comes to the story behind the character ~ so here’s mine.
"I was 16 when our family home went up in flames. It was traumatic to be trapped inside a burning house.
"Losing our home & all our belongings was one thing, but months later, cancer took my grandma who had raised me. It broke me.
"I didn’t have counselling. Instead, struggling to cope with my grief & upset, I took measures into my own hands & naively overdosed on a handful of tablets from a school friend who told me it would numb the pain.
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I want to open up about some things you may not know, as I’ve found there’s a lot of judgement out there with little knowledge when it comes to the story behind the character ~ so here’s mine.. I was 16 when our family home went up in flames. It was traumatic to be trapped inside a burning house. Losing our home & all our belongings was one thing, but months later, cancer took my grandma who had raised me. It broke me. I didn’t have counselling. Instead, struggling to cope with my grief & upset, I took measures into my own hands & naively overdosed on a handful of tablets from a school friend who told me it would numb the pain. Two years later & desperate for stability I clung to the wrong guy at uni & ended up isolated in an abusive relationship. If it wasn’t for a friend who clocked my hidden bruises & helped me pack my bags, I can’t even imagine. I buried this awful episode but subconsciously it affected my trust in people. My career became a cover but beneath the charade of success this heavy feeling remained. Overwhelmed with dreading the worst. I hid behind acting roles & photoshoots as my armour. Then in 2009 I got the worst phone call of my life. My best friend had taken her own life. I remember falling to the floor & the room spinning. The shock was so bad I thought my heart was going to physically break. I became even more anxious & defensive. I had all the debilitating symptoms: Panic, distress, irrationality, irritability, sweating, nausea, insomnia, fear, paranoia, insecurity, stress, chest pain, jaw tension, impulsiveness, defensiveness. In 2018 I had to put my pride aside & ask for help. I was diagnosed with PTSD & Panic Disorder. I’m now on medication & I see a specialist for EMDR & CBT therapy. I feel like I’m finally coming up for air. I now pause before reacting. I look to myself before others. I reframe. So many are misunderstood because of their mental struggles. Life breaks some of us more than others & it’s down to us to put our pieces back together but we can’t do that alone. We aren’t lost, crazy, weird or toxic, we’re injured. But mental injuries don’t mend on their own. Please, if this is you, talk to your doctor.? #mentalhealth
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"Two years later & desperate for stability I clung to the wrong guy at uni & ended up isolated in an abusive relationship.
"If it wasn’t for a friend who clocked my hidden bruises & helped me pack my bags, I can’t even imagine. I buried this awful episode but subconsciously it affected my trust in people.
"My career became a cover but beneath the charade of success this heavy feeling remained. "Overwhelmed with dreading the worst. I hid behind acting roles & photoshoots as my armour. Then in 2009 I got the worst phone call of my life.
"My best friend had taken her own life. I remember falling to the floor & the room spinning. The shock was so bad I thought my heart was going to physically break.
"I became even more anxious & defensive. I had all the debilitating symptoms: Panic, distress, irrationality, irritability, sweating, nausea, insomnia, fear, paranoia, insecurity, stress, chest pain, jaw tension, impulsiveness, defensiveness.
"In 2018 I had to put my pride aside & ask for help. I was diagnosed with PTSD & Panic Disorder. I’m now on medication & I see a specialist for EMDR & CBT therapy.
"I feel like I’m finally coming up for air. I now pause before reacting. I look to myself before others. I reframe.
"So many are misunderstood because of their mental struggles. Life breaks some of us more than others & it’s down to us to put our pieces back together but we can’t do that alone.
"We aren’t lost, crazy, weird or toxic, we’re injured. But mental injuries don’t mend on their own. Please, if this is you, talk to your doctor. #mentalhealth."
Roxanne went into hiding after Celebrity Big Brother.
Fans claimed she’d maliciously accused Ryan in an effort to win the show.
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The following isolated months sent Roxanne into a spiral of despair and depression, leaving her too worried to go out in public and so stressed her hair started falling out.
In an exclusive interview with The Sun Online, Roxanne admitted she hasn’t forgiven herself and still regrets her reaction every day.
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