Britons speak of their fears for elderly relatives in self-isolation

‘My son went to sleep asking if he will ever see granny again’: Devastated Brits reveal fears their elderly parents will die ‘alone and scared’ in coronavirus self-isolation as NHS officially advises families to ‘say goodbye over Skype’

  • Britons took to social media to share their fears for their elderly relatives today 
  • Came as daughters spoke of horror at no being able to say goodbye to parents 
  • NHS guidance said deathbed calls could be made via Skype if outbreak worsens 
  • Coronavirus symptoms: what are they and should you see a doctor?

Britons today spoke movingly of their fears they would not be able to say a final goodbye to their elderly relatives as officials urged families to stay away from those in self-isolation amid the coronavirus pandemic. 

‘Lying awake at 4am thinking there’s a high chance that I will lose one or both of my elderly parents to and then not being able to say goodbye to them before they go or even give them proper funerals afterwards,’ wrote one Twitter user. 

It came as the daughters of two coronavirus victims spoke of their devastation at not being able to say goodbye to their mothers before they passed away from the virus while being kept in isolation inside their care homes. 

Today, NHS guidance said families of dying patients could be asked say goodbye to their relatives over Skype rather than go to their bedside in person and risk contracting the virus if the pandemic worsens. Meanwhile, a funeral director in York announced he would be offering free live-streams of cremations. 

Yesterday, officials recorded the biggest daily spike in cases yet, with 71 deaths and 407 patients diagnosed in the past 24 hours – meaning 1,950 Britons have now caught the life-threatening virus that has left many in fear. 

Britons today spoke of their fears at not being able to say goodbye to their elderly relatives if they became critically ill. Karen Jones, 47, (pictured) as unable to say goodbye to her dying father, Aubrey Sibley, because he was in a coronavirus isolation unit 

 

In moving comments on social media, people shared their fears for their parents and grandparents amid the pandemic 

With the government set to order all over-70s to self-isolate for at least 12 weeks this weekend in a radical new measure to fight the virus, people took to social media to share their concerns for elderly relatives. 

‘The feeling when you say goodbye to your elderly parent in the midst of an impending plague not knowing if she’ll make it to the other side,’ tweeted magazine editor Kathryn Pierce. 

Another wrote: ‘I have three elderly grandparents (one is 96). Yesterday two of them called me. My grandpa told me that he loves me, and that he was proud of me. 

‘There was terror in his voice. It felt too much like a goodbye, and I could barely keep it together.’

Iain Dawson tweeted: ‘Last night, my son went to sleep asking if he’d ever see his grandparents again. He said he was sad that he didn’t say ‘goodbye’. 

‘He is only 3. Just because the young are at lower risk of symptoms, doesn’t mean this crisis isn’t deeply affecting them. #covid19UK.’ 

And another user said: ‘I have kept everyone who has been affected by this epidemic in my prayers. There’s people who won’t get to say goodbye to their elderly loved ones due to quarantines and lockdowns.’  


Autism campaigner Caroline Hopton (left) said she could not even hold the hand of her ‘dearest’ mother (right) before she died 

Today, NHS guidance said families of dying patients could be asked say goodbye to their relatives over Skype rather than go to their bedside in person and risk contracting the virus if the pandemic worsen

Funeral director offers families free live-streams of cremations  

A funeral director is offering families free live streams of the loved one’s cremations following the coronavirus crisis.

Martin Rowley, who runs Rowley & Sons, in York, is offering to pay the £62 fee which York Crematorium usually charges for services to be broadcast online.

Martin Rowley, who runs Rowley & Sons, with his wife, Elizabeth 

Mr Rowley, who has run his family business for the last seven years said it would help grieving relatives say goodbye to their loved ones even if they are self-isolating.

Mr Rowley, said: ‘We have decided to do this so that there’s no need for families to have extra costs.

‘There has been no increase in business as such although that will probably happen.

‘The biggest impact on our businesses has been uncertainty from families who come to us and ask whether the funeral will go ahead or not or if there are restrictions.

‘Anyone who is vulnerable or self-isolating can at least watch the service.’

It came as devastated daughter, Karen Jones, 47, said she was robbed of the chance to say a ‘final goodbye’ to her dying father because his care home was on coronavirus lock-down.

Ms Jones raced to see her ailing father, Aubrey Sibley, as he received end-of-life care at Elm Tree Home in Frinton-on-Sea, Essex, but was turned away despite her desperate pleas and offers to wear protective gear. 

Wracked with guilt she was not at her 87-year-old father’s bedside, Ms Jones has since turned on the care home, whose uncompromising ban she branded ‘disgusting’.

‘They wouldn’t let me in but my father was dying,’ she said. ‘I was so upset because I wanted to be with him and I was absolutely fine – I wasn’t ill at all and I just couldn’t understand why they wouldn’t let me in.’

Meanwhile, autism campaigner Caroline Hopton, 57, lose her mother a day after she was put in a coronavirus isolation unit, meaning she was unable to say goodbye. 

Ms Hopton, the founder of The Coast to Coast Foundation For Autism, tweeted: ‘Covid-19 stopped me holding my dearest mum’s hand in her final moments last night.

‘She died alone in isolation after being admitted early Saturday AM and was put in isolation ”just in case’. It made losing her even more devastating. How many other families will go through same?’

The precise cause of her death is still not known. 

To avoid more tragic cases, the NHS could soon encourage families to use ‘mobile devices and video calling’ to speak to patients on their deathbeds if the outbreak is bad enough. 

In the guidance issued to UK hospitals, seen by The Daily Telegraph, doctors are told to ‘restrict access to critical care areas for non-essential staff and any families or friends’ during the outbreak. 

Leonard Gibson (pictured), 78, from Oughtibridge, near Sheffield, died on Tuesday morning from coronavirus after being diagnosed with the illness last week 

The pensioner’s daughter’s Lisa Broughton (left), 50, and Michelle Lenton (right), 51, 

NHS staff should also ‘discuss using mobile devices and video-calling with the local Caldicott Guardian, particularly on compassionate grounds during end-of-life processes’.

A Caldicott Guardian is the senior clinician responsible for protecting the confidentiality of sensitive healthcare information – there is one in every NHS hospital.

Dr Ron Daniels, an intensive care consultant, said the advice may ‘be distasteful for some, but in many cases would be necessary’.

He added: ‘If, for example, you have the 90-year-old wife of an elderly man dying from coronavirus, you don’t want to bring her into that environment.’

It comes after it was suggested that funerals for coronavirus victims could be streamed online to halt the spread.

The National Association of Funeral Directors said mourners could be encouraged to watch on the internet instead of attending services with bereaved relatives who may have caught the virus from their loved one. 

It came as a world-leading expert on infectious disease urged families to protect grandparents from their own grandchildren because people are most likely to contract coronavirus from their loved ones.  

In a stark message ahead of Mothering Sunday next weekend, Professor John Edmunds of the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine said it was wrong to assume that strangers pose the biggest risk of passing on the virus.

He said: ‘You are most likely to get infected from your household members – and the next most risky bunch of people are your workmates. So if you’ve got elderly parents who are frail, and you’ve got children, you need to tell your parents they need to be careful about their grandchildren… I know that sounds brutal and horrible, but that’s the kind of thing that people need to start to thinking about.’  

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