Drunk man pleads guilty after he’s caught trying to ‘have sex’ with a pile of leaves

This is no average nature lover.

Michael Golsorkhi was allegedly drunk and high on cannabis and cocaine when he “tried to have sex with a pile of leaves” in a UK hotel parking lot last month, the Manchester Evening News reported.

Premier Inn workers noticed the 26-year-old “acting suspiciously” in the hotel lot even before he got frisky with the fallen fall foliage.

“[Then] we saw a white male with his trousers down and we could see his bum,” an unnamed hotel staffer said in a statement read in court. “There was nothing between me and this male. He was about a car length away from me and he appeared to be having sex.”

Workers at the Stockport, England, hotel soon discovered he was merely “thrusting” into a mound of autumn leaves with his pants around his ankles — in full view of family diners at a nearby restaurant.

“At one stage I shouted to him, ‘What are you doing, you dirty bastard?’ and he then leapt up, pulled his trousers up and sat in the bushes,” the witness statement continued.

Cops were called as the workers continued yelling at Golsorkhi, who emerged from the shrubs after about 10 minutes.

“He gave no explanation for what he was doing,” the witness said. “I was concerned for the hotel guests — there were children staying at the hotel.”

Defense lawyer Neville Warburton told the court his client — who had previous convictions for harassing his parents — was “mortified” with no recollection of the unsavory incident.

“Unsurprisingly, this is relating to some information that he took drugs ranging from cocaine to cannabis and alcohol,” Burton said. “He cannot explain his behavior. He is entirely embarrassed about that.”

Golsorkhi pleaded guilty to pot possession and public indecency. He paid a $158 fine, and has served eight weeks in jail.

“Think about your life. Make sure you do go out and seek help,” Magistrate Edward Tasker told Golsorkhi. “Unfortunately for you, it is you who have found yourself in this position.”

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