HENRY DEEDES watches BBC’s Andrew Neil joust with the No10 pretenders

‘BoJo wriggled like school fatty caught raiding pals’ lunchboxes’: HENRY DEEDES watches BBC resident rottweiler Andrew Neil joust with the No10 pretenders

When most sensible folk were out in the sunshine enjoying a pint or three of something dark and foamy, two very different men subjected themselves to a grilling by BBC rottweiler Andrew Neil in their bid to become Prime Minister.

Jeez, these guys must really want this gig.

Subjecting yourself to cross-examination to Mr Neil is as wise as agreeing to a light neck massage from the Boston Strangler.

When most sensible folk were out in the sunshine enjoying a pint or three of something dark and foamy, two very different men subjected themselves to a grilling by BBC rottweiler Andrew Neil in their bid to become Prime Minister. Above: Boris Johnson during his grilling by Andrew Neil on the BBC today

The bristly maestro pounces on obfuscation and bluster the way vultures swoop on week-old carrion.

For this reason, I would say Jeremy Hunt emerged better than Boris Johnson from this encounter by virtue of the fact he at least tried to give straight answers. 

When I say better, I mean less scathed.

Mr Hunt was up first. Neil suggested plainly that Hunt was simply Theresa May with trousers on.

‘Well, I am certainly not that,’ countered Hunt, as though people were genuinely suggesting he donned make-up and stockings each morning and masqueraded as the Prime Minister.

Jeez, these guys must really want this gig. Subjecting yourself to cross-examination to Mr Neil is as wise as agreeing to a light neck massage from the Boston Strangler

Hunt was perched upright in his chair like an eager gundog awaiting instructions. Neil wore a white tie on a white shirt, giving him, appropriately, the look of a Cosa Nostra capo.

Hunt said he plans to have a new Brexit deal in place by October 31 but is prepared to delay if the chance of an agreement was close.

Delay how long? Christmas? He couldn’t say.

Neil hectored him on this but Hunt stood his ground. He didn’t want to make the same mistakes Mrs May made and commit to promises he couldn’t keep. His temperature barely rose above 98.6F.

The Foreign Secretary is a cool customer and not without talent but is he not decidedly vanilla? 

The sort of person who names Love Actually as his favourite film before you’ve even finished asking the question.

I would say Jeremy Hunt (right) emerged better than Boris Johnson from this encounter by virtue of the fact he at least tried to give straight answers

Hunt was perched upright in his chair like an eager gundog awaiting instructions

His favourite expression yesterday, once again, was ‘entrepreneur’.

‘You’re an entrepreneur?’ asked Mr Neil sarcastically. Hunt: ‘Have you not heard that?’ Neil: ‘Well, only about 50 times.’ 

Neil suggested he wasn’t exactly Bill Gates or Steve Jobs. ‘Don’t belittle people who’ve built up small businesses,’ Hunt countered. That put the interviewer back in his box temporarily.

There was mention of his commitment to the Union. ‘Just think what Nicola Sturgeon would do…’

Clever. Forget Corbyn, forget Brexit. When a Tory really wants to send a chill wind up the Pennines they bring up nippy sweetie Sturgeon.

Johnson was up next, bragging about his record as London mayor. Each statistic he threw at his interviewer, Neil came back with another.

Johnson was up next, bragging about his record as London mayor. Each statistic he threw at his interviewer, Neil came back with another

This is not untypical. I’ve often seen interviews where Neil appears to have a better grasp of a government brief than the minister he’s interviewing.

The thorny issue was raised about Washington ambassador Sir Kim Darroch, forced to resign this week after leaked diplomatic cables forced a rift with Donald Trump.

Why didn’t Boris stand up for him?

Not true, said Johnson, mansplaining worse than a Match of the Day pundit. The villains in this saga, he said, were the people who leaked the cables in the first place. Come on, that’s a side-issue, Neil retorted.

Boris wriggled and deviated like a school fatty who’s been caught raiding his classmates’ lunchboxes. 

One would have thought after all the oxygen this story’s been given this week he might have prepared himself better.

Boris wriggled and deviated like a school fatty who’s been caught raiding his classmates’ lunchboxes

There have been times during this campaign when you have just wanted to tell Boris to shut up as he bumbles on, trying to steer debates in the direction he has wanted to go.

His interviewer had the measure of him last night. ‘I will ask the questions I want to ask, not yours,’ he barked in his stern Paisley lilt.

Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe; Brexit; the backstop. On each topic, Neil bulldozed his guest with facts and figures, and Johnson was left gulping at them the way a hooked trout fights for its life on the riverbank.

‘You seem very choleric, Andrew,’ Boris said at one point, attempting to halt the onslaught. 

Yellow-bellied George Osborne once admitted he made it a rule in his six years as chancellor never to be interviewed by Neil and it was easy to see why.

Before wrapping up, Neil accused Boris of being ‘all flaws and no character’. Others compare him to The Simpsons’ character Krusty the Clown, all fun and games until the camera switches off. 

If only that genius actor Philip Seymour Hoffman were still around, he’d have nailed him on screen.

And so both candidates staggered off to hustings in Cheltenham. A firm rub-down with the Radian B may well have been in order before bedtime.

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