How I Do It: A week in the sex life of a pregnant woman
In this week’s How I Do It, our weekly sex and love diary, we get a rare insight into the sex life of a pregnant woman.
Tara*, 35, used to be a party animal who had sex pretty much every day, but since getting pregnant her libido has dipped – and she is having trouble coming to terms with it.
The budding mum is in a long-term relationship with Tom*, and the pair live together.
Here she shares a beautifully honest diary of how pregnancy has changed her body and their sex life – and why people should talk more openly about it.
Tuesday
We make a conscious decision to sack off TV-and-sofa time this evening and head upstairs early.
When Tom and I first met, our sex life was pretty hardcore: lots of experimentation, kink, snorting coke off my tits – that kind of thing.
Now I’m five months pregnant and my sex drive has diminished. I’m gutted and hate that Tom worries I’ve stopped finding him attractive; nothing could be further from the truth but it’s hard to feel sexy when I’m the size of a mini-fridge and can feel the baby kicking while Tom is calling me a dirty s***.
I take a shower and try to shave my pubic area, only to find I can’t see past the bump. Great start.
Sex is nice but I can’t get into it and afterwards we have a long chat, during which I burst into tears and confess I feel like I’ve lost my identity.
No one seems to talk about how your sexuality is impacted when you’re pregnant.
There was a time when men used to look at me in the street. Now they avert their eyes like I am human contraception.
Wednesday
Something must have shifted after last night’s chat because I wake up feeling lighter and we fool around before work.
I love morning sex; Tom would have sex any time, anywhere, until his penis is broken. Brushing past me is enough to get him hard.
I complain when he sticks his hand down my pants while I’m washing up but actually, I’m really grateful to be with someone who seems to find me so attractive, even when my chin is riddled with hormone spots and strange pregnancy gunk is leaking from my vagina.
Thursday
Date night. I have a drink with a friend before meeting Tom at a swanky cocktail bar, and arriving separately makes it feel like the nights out we used to have before we lived together.
I’ve made myself look as sexy as I can – makeup, clean pants, my least terrible maternity bra (added bonus: my swollen feet help my heels stay on) and Tom is waiting for me, looking gorgeous in a suit. I’m all over him. People stare.
Back at home, we only make it as far as the sofa before shedding our clothes. I’m super into it until I stand up and glimpse my sagging arse and protruding bump, but don’t want to ruin the moment. I straddle Tom and we have incredible, noisy sex.
Afterwards, we cuddle up in bed and I fall asleep feeling reassured that the old me is still in there somewhere.
Friday
We are both manic at work but text throughout the day about how great last night was. We’re up for a repeat performance but I end up working into the evening and we order Deliveroo instead.
I usually give Tom a blow job before lights out. My sex drive may have gone MIA but that doesn’t mean that I can neglect my boyfriend.
But tonight even that feels like a stretch and I drift off with promises of sex over the weekend.
Saturday
I spend most of the day working, which cuts into our traditional Saturday afternoon sex time.
Lots of kissing and cuddling throughout the day, but that’s it.
Sunday
We are supposed to be meeting friends but when they text to cancel we use the extra time to give each other oral sex.
Tom has – and there really isn’t a way of putting this delicately – a massive penis. Previously, this was only a good thing but pregnancy has made my vagina…. more sensitive? Less wet? Something’s happened, and penetration can feel a bit sore.
The downside is that my bump gets in the way when I go down on Tom. I end up with my knees splayed out and the bump resting between my thighs; he climaxes everywhere while I get a deep stretch in my tight, aching hips. Win-win.
Monday
First day of annual leave and it’s not until I stop that I realise the mental and physical toll work has taken on me, while trying to simultaneously grow a human.
Tom’s taken the day off too and by mid-afternoon we’re both horny. Having time and mental space for sex makes such a difference to me.
We watch porn, which is super hot, but I feel like a dumpy hippo compared to two lovely ladies’ toned, tanned bodies.
Ten minutes later, we have both come and then I doze on his chest. Throw in a foot rub and a skip-full of chow mein and I’m in pregnant lady heaven.
*Names have been changed.
How I Do It
In Metro.co.uk’s How I Do It you get a sneak peek into a week of a person’s sex and love life – from vanilla love-making to fetishes, threesomes and polyamorous relationships, they reveal it all.
Fancy taking part yourself? Email [email protected] for more information.
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