Im too scared to get drunk, says Frankie Essex ahead of her first birthday as a mum

Former TOWIE star Frankie Essex gave birth to her twins, whom she shares with boyfriend Luke Love, in May and has since revealed to the world that they’ve named their little bundles of joy Logan and Luella.

In her exclusive column for OK!, Frankie’s discussed a range of topics in regards to motherhood – from her first social outing with the twins and a blackout at her home when they were just a few days old, to “feeling more human again” as the babies drop their dreaded 2am feed.

This week, Frankie discusses her upcoming birthday plans, her first outing with her girlfriends since giving birth and their 3am house woes as the roof began to leak.

First girls outing

I went out for lunch with the girls for the first time with the babies. We went to a little place that does salads, and it’s lucky we did have salads really because the babies just took over. We couldn’t eat as soon as it arrived, so it’s fortunate it wasn’t warm!

My friend came with me to help me because she doesn't have children, so she really helped. We were out for ages and we had a little coffee, a little walk around with the babies.

It’s nice getting out because [the twins] sleep better come the night time.

Confidence taking the twins out without Luke

I’m definitely starting to feel more confident to take the babies out on my own. One thing that gets me is putting the pram in the boot. On my own, I get a bit flustered, but I did it alright when I went out with the girls.

You’ve just got to take your time, especially with twins as there’s two of them! First I put the bags in the car and things like that, I’ll get everything off the pram, then I’ll put one baby, then the other baby, in their seats so they’re settled. Then I try to get the pram done, but it’s just a lot, isn’t it?

I’m still learning to do the pram myself as Luke usually does that bit, but I did it alright yesterday.

My cousin’s expecting her seventh baby!

We went to my cousin Carly’s for a BBQ over the bank holiday and she’s currently pregnant with her seventh baby. She’s due at the end of September and her house is like a mad house with all the little kids running around, but I love it.

One of her little girls is about ten and she was helping with the babies which was nice, and they know they’re having a baby sister so they’re obsessed with the twins.

One of the youngest was a bit scared and she was like “Can you move this away from me?” and I asked “What’s that, darling?” and she pointed to Logan. Me and Carly were really laughing.

Carly’s amazing but I don’t think I’ll ever be having that many kids! Her eldest is 20 and she said to me “I’ve been having kids for 20 years”. I said she’s a nutter.

House renovation woes

On the day we were hit with loads of rain, our roof wasn’t done. They’d just taken all the felt off and took the tiles off the day before, so the front and the back of the house were then covered with a new felt, but the side wasn’t. Then the rain came down at 4am in the morning really badly. It was coming through the ceilings and now we need to repaint the ceilings in the dressing room.

I’d been up with Logan in the night and saw a flash of lightning and I thought, oh my god… the storm’s coming. When I finished feeding Logan I woke up Luke and he was on the roof at 4 o’clock in the morning in the pitch black and it was p*ssing down with rain. Meanwhile I was in the loft drenched where it was coming through and we were covered with dirt from the felt. I had to have a bath at 4:30am!

The twins were sound asleep through all this. I was up from 3am right through and it gave me real anxiety because you know you have two babies to look after, so you just have to carry on. You can’t sleep and just switch off.

Twin mum guilt

I’m a big worrier and, especially when you’ve had babies, you’re just more hyped about everything. Like, you’re onto everything.

I’ve definitely become more anxious since having the twins. For example, Logan’s been sick three times this morning and I’ve been making sure he’s okay, but then I feel like I’m leaving Luella out. She’s alright just lying there happy as Larry, but when there's one that takes up a lot of time then you feel bad on the other one. You feel like you’re not giving the other one as much attention, then that makes you feel bad.

First birthday as a mum

September is my birthday month. Usually you’d go out at the weekend or during the week but, with the babies, I’m going to have to stretch it out to all month. It’s going to be my birthday for the whole of September.

I'm going out with Luke on the Friday [of my birthday on the 16th] and my family on Sunday. So then I don't want to go out anymore because obviously the babies and I'll be tired. The weekend after, me and the girls will do something. One of my best friends lives in Maidstone and she doesn't drive so I'm gonna always see her every year, so that will be separate to the other plans with my friends.

With the other girls, we’ll go out and have a drink, which will be my first kind of night out since having the babies. I won’t be getting drunk like I used to though, I’d be too scared for the hangover the next day with two babies. I don’t think I’m ready for that! I’ve seen Luke like it, and it’s made me think twice about doing shots…


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