I feel torn on whether I should stay in my miserable marriage for the sake of our child and lovely home | The Sun

DEAR DEIDRE: I’VE given up on my marriage after too many miserable years but now that it’s come to the crunch I feel torn.

My mum, 68, knows I’ve been unhappy but insists it’s better to stay with my husband for the sake of our child and lovely home.

We have been married for 15 years and have a ten-year-old son.

My husband has had several affairs and despite his promises, isn’t interested in focusing on me or our son. I’m 41 and my husband is 40.

He has a short temper and hits the roof at the slightest provocation.

He’s unpleasant and unpredictable and my son and I are always on edge. Still, my mum says I’d be a fool to compromise my comfortable life.

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I feel very angry with my husband as I gave up my job to ensure we had a stable home life.

I thought he’d be grateful, instead he has taken the opportunity to work away from home more and more.

I told him last month that I want a divorce but now I feel overwhelmed, especially as I don’t have my mum’s support.

When it comes to a fair settlement, I know he’ll be difficult.

I need to keep pushing on through but there is a big part of me that wonders if my mum is right and I should stay – if only for my son and the sake of my comfortable lifestyle and home.

It hurts so much and I’ve told him we need to seek counselling help but he’s not having any of that.


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DEIDRE SAYS: Divorce is never easy. Your mum may think she is being helpful but only you live in your relationship.

You are the best person to decide if your marriage is over or not.

Children growing up in unhappy homes pick up on the misery and are often unconfident and uncertain themselves.

So splitting up can offer far better outcomes for children.

If he won’t try to work through your problems, either with or without expert counselling help, then you’ve really no choice but to keep ploughing on.

Read my support pack Thinking Of Divorce, which offers more advice.

Do call familylives.org which can advise you on how to help your son adjust.

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