My perfect marriage is ruined after I found trans porn on husband's phone
DEAR DEIDRE: OUR perfect life has been shattered by the discovery that my husband fantasises about sex with “shemales”.
I have spent nine blissful years with my husband. We have two daughters who are seven and five years old and I didn’t want for anything.
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Now I can’t even bear to be in the same room as him.
He’s 35 and I’m 34. I stumbled across his trans porn secret when my phone was out of charge and our daughters wanted to watch an Ariana Grande music video.
I scrolled through his phone’s history, thinking that would be the quickest way to find their favourite songs.
Instead, I was confronted with reels of porn — nothing too unusual, I thought.
But then I noticed all the links were for “shemale” porn — where the people involved still have their penises but otherwise look like women.
I went on to some of the websites and was amazed that some of the shemales were so feminine. They looked like really hot women!
The colour drained from my husband’s face when I confronted him and he passed it off as a joke — something he’d been watching with his mechanic mates at work for a laugh.
When I told him I’d seen he’d watched it every day, he admitted he was bi-curious and fantasised about sex with a man.
How on earth can we remain together when he is lusting after the one thing I can’t give him?
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Our children are the only thing that breaks the silence now.
I’m thinking about leaving, but I’m scared to start again.
DEIDRE SAYS: Don’t walk out the door just yet. Your husband has said he is bi-curious and has fantasies about sex with a man.
While this will have been upsetting, plenty of people have fantasies they never want to act on.
Your husband may well have gay feelings and admit that he thinks about anal sex but it is worth knowing that many heterosexual couples also enjoy this.
I’m sending you my support pack, Kinky Sex Worries, for your information.
Have a think about your relationship; apart from this recent discovery, is it a good partnership?
You need to think about whether you really want to throw all of that away.
After all, he is still the same man you have loved and the same father of your children – you just weren’t aware of what was in his head.
There is a big difference between being curious and wanting to act on those urges.
Only through talking to him will you find out what he truly feels.
I’m sending you my support pack, Bisexual Issues and Gay Issues, to help you both.
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