We all know 'recollections may vary' – but what's the story, Harry?

“PRINCE Harry is coming across like a typical f***ing woke snowflake, f***ing a***hole. Just don’t be f***ing dissing your family because there’s no need for it.”

No, it’s not an official statement from Buckingham Palace. Nor the words of Prince William. They’re from national treasure Noel Gallagher.

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William may have said something similar in private. We cannot know.

Likewise we can only guess exactly what was said when Harry contacted the Queen, apparently to ask consent to bestow her highly personal nickname Lilibet on his new daughter.

He and Meghan insist that if Her Maj had said No they’d have thought again. OK.

But a senior Palace source claims to the BBC that’s not so. That they never really sought her permission.

We all know “recollections may vary”. But is it really plausible the Californian Oprah-botherers just made this one up?

Why won’t the Palace officially back their version of events?

Pint of courage

IMAGINE watching the Euros in a pub with table service, the rule of six and social distancing. Millions would stay at home.

So we join fans and pub bosses in beseeching Boris Johnson not to be swayed by rising cases — and to fully open our boozers on June 21 in time for the later stages of the tournament.

Yesterday infections climbed again, to 7,540. It’s the highest in months. But that’s where the gloomy stats end.

Cases began their sharp increase over three weeks ago, yet hospitalisations and deaths remain low.

It’s no longer inevitable they will soar too — because 28,540,844 of us have had two jabs and 40,710,319 one. And yesterday alone one million young people booked theirs.

Hold your nerve, PM.

BoJoe show

PRESIDENT Biden would be a disaster for Britain, gleeful Remainers claimed.

His Irish ancestry left him ill-disposed to us. He hated Brexit and loved the EU, which he would always prioritise. The US would never do a trade deal with us.

Worse still, the Democrats disliked Boris, who was just Donald Trump with a British accent. And so on and so on.

Now, after months of warmth, the two leaders will today forge a historic new transatlantic pact.

Do the Boris-haters call anything right?

Real ding-dong

IMAGINE moving near a village church then moaning about the bells ringing.

Consider too the folly of officials who after this first whinge in 110 years chose to silence the bell, not the complainant.

Other locals love the chimes.

One can’t sleep WITHOUT them in the night.

The local council has dropped a clanger.

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